Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

One of the greatest treasures in the world is a contented heart

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“One of the greatest treasures in the world is a contented heart.”

—John O’Donohue, 20th Century Irish poet and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by N.

Today’s quote sends us all on a treasure hunt, challenging us to explore our inner and outer worlds to see what truly offers heartfelt contentment.

What aspects of your life feed and keep you fed — body and soul?

In today’s media-flooded world, many of us have been brainwashed into the myth of having it all. So many of us play this game only to find that long-term satisfaction and contentment eludes us.

Having what we want versus wanting what we have is a perspective worth a closer look.

EXERCISE:

What aspects of your life are essential for you to close your eyes at night with a contented heart?

How many of these treasures are already in your possession?

Take a broader view of your track record

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Take a broader view of your track record. What did you pick up and learn when you fell? How quickly did you stand again to give things another go?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Nils Huenerfuerst

Just before 7:00 each morning you can find me playing Wordle. I consider it a form of cerebral stretching that helps me warm up my mental muscles. My interest in its statistical feedback is one of the reasons I haven’t missed a day in over a year.

In the early stages of my Wordle-ing efforts it often took more attempts to solve each puzzle. On a number of occasions, I failed completely.

Every few months I evaluate my progress with some grade school arithmetic to get a broader view of my running average score.

EXERCISE:

Where would taking a broader view of your track record over time serve you best? What critical lessons have your learned? What motivates you to keep going when you occasionally stumble or fall?

If you’re not willing to do a wholesale 24/7,100% swap with who that person is

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“If you’re not willing to do a wholesale 24/7,100% swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.”

—Naval Ravikant, Indian-American entrepreneur and investor

Image from Unsplash by PCM

What did you want to be when you were a kid? Who were your heroes, and how often did you imagine being them?

What about these days?

How often do your thoughts detour to trading places with the rich and famous? If you were to find a magic lamp, how would you use those wishes to swap out your life for some alternative picture of perfect?

Where do you currently feel the pangs of envy and jealousy?

Who are the people you actually know that seem to have it all? How do you feel around them when your habit of making comparisons kicks in?

EXERCISE:

Take a closer look at your life.

If possible, dig below the surface of your initial superlative assessments of others.

Perhaps they may actually be a bit jealous of you.

You’re spending time to save money when you should be spending money to save time

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“You’re spending time to save money when you should be spending money to save time.”

—Naval Ravikant, Indian-American entrepreneur and investor

Image from Unsplash by Daniel Watson

When I was eleven, I started my first business.

My dad loaned me $75 to buy a Sears Craftsman lawn mower, and I got busy knocking on all the neighborhood doors.

Prior to my gas-powered efforts, I used one of those rotary mowers that would always get clogged with grass if it was too long or wet. After one multi-hour effort on a neighbor’s neglected lawn with only three dollars to show for it, my rotary mower was history.

Where in your life have you and do you trade your time for money?

Where over the years have your learned to use your money to more efficiently and effectively allocate your time?

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways have you learned that time is the coin of life? In what ways can you spend and invest it more wisely? How can you use your money and other resources to get far more bang for your bucks?

Life is like skiing. The goal is not to get to the bottom of the hill

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“Life is like skiing. The goal is not to get to the bottom of the hill. It’s to have a bunch of good runs before the sun sets.”

—Seth Godin, American author and former dot com business executive

Image from Unsplash by Banff Sunshine Village

Do you or have you participated in winter activities such as skiing or sledding? Although I tried my hand at skiing in my late teens and made it down a few bunny slopes, sledding was my thing as a kid.

When our wintry prayers were answered for snow days, I was out the door with my friends to visit venues we named Suicide Hill and Dead Man’s Drop.

As fast as we would race down each run, we would immediately dart right back up each incline again and again, holding on tight to our flexible flyers, snowboards, and toboggans.

We couldn’t get enough and only frozen toes, growling stomachs, and looming darkness would have us head home.

EXERCISE:

How many good runs have you had in your life?  What intentions and actions are you planning and taking to make the most of every day you wake up to see the sun?

 

Embrace life’s questions and live your way into the answers

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Embrace life’s questions and live your way into the answers. Don’t rush. Learn to take pleasure in the process of discovery.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Towfiqu Barbhuiya

Of all the coaching tools I’ve come to value most over the years, one is the good old open-ended question.

I love that the trigger words of Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How allow us to dig deeper into answers that can differ widely for each person.

When we combine questions like these in sequence with sincere interest and honorable listening, we often discover many of life’s most important answers.

EXERCISE:

Consider picking up a copy of The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer or A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger to help you and others live into the answers of your life.

Friday Review: Expectations

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Friday Review: Expectations

What expectations do you carry for yourself? How do you react to the expectations others hold for you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“For those who expect everything, there are many curses. For those who appreciate everything, there are many blessings.”

 

 

 

It is good to have a compass to point the way. Hold your expectation lightly and be prepared for unexpected roadblocks and detours.

 

 

 

“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”

 

 

 

 

Stillness is what aims the archer’s arrow

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“Stillness is what aims the archer’s arrow, it inspires new ideas, it sharpens perspective and illuminates connections.”

—Ryan Holiday, American author, and host of the podcast The Daily Stoic

Image from Unsplash by Mario Doberman

Being still seems like such a passive thing to do. How could the lack of movement get us where we want to go and accomplish the things we desire?

Without a careful aim we certainly miss our targets.

Without new ideas we are destined to keep circling back to the ones whose time has passed.

Without greater perspective we are unlikely to pursue paths meant for today and our future.

Without our connections and communities, we are left as lone rangers, isolated and alone.

EXERCISE:

How could you squeeze greater benefits out of stillness in your life?

Where can it act as a quiet place to reflect and improve your world in so many ways?

Be careful not to let the noise in your mind overpower the whispers of your heart

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“Be careful not to let the noise in your mind overpower the whispers of your heart.”

—Cory Muscara, international speaker and teacher on mindfulness and positive psychology

Image from Unsplash by Nick Fewings

As a child I was fearful of going to the doctor. The unfamiliar surroundings, the strange smells, and the anticipation of getting a shot from the scary nurse was something to dread.

Doctor Wiederman was always kind and gentle, with a reassuring voice. On one visit, he let me use his stethoscope to listen to my heartbeat. This pulsing sound seemed to let me know that everything was OK and that he and his staff were only there to keep me healthy.

As I’ve gotten older, my perspective on my heart has expanded from a blood pumping organ to the source of my soul. Taking the time to be quiet and listening to its messages is something we can all practice daily.

EXERCISE:

Where and when do you take the time to listen to the whispers of your heart?

How can you quiet the noisy voices of your mind to embrace this inner wisdom?