Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Learning to adapt to the current circumstances is a key to being happy

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“Learning to adapt to the current circumstances is a key to being happy. Right now, it’s like this.”

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

Following the devastation caused by hurricane Ian in the southeast, the area where I live in Pennsylvania experienced a few days of constant rain. I was surprised that some people complained about our soggy situation.

They apparently internalized the rain and cloudiness, instead of adapting to things as they were. That’s why we have umbrellas and rain coats.

Learning to accept things as they are and working to change things where we can is a road to self-determination.

EXERCISE:

What do you need to accept that you cannot change?

How can you take things as they are and make the most of even the stormy days ahead?

Friday Review: Preparation

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Friday Review: Preparation

Are you prepared? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

 

 

 

“The proper work of the mind is the exercise of choice, refusal, yearnings, repulsion, preparation, purpose, and assent.”

 

 

 

“Now is the perfect time to prepare.”

 

 

 

 

If you fall in love with the imagination, you understand

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“If you fall in love with the imagination, you understand that it is a free spirit. It will go anywhere, and it can do anything.”

—Alice Walker, American writer and social activist

Image from Unsplash by Michelle Cassar

Imagine that you are a new Marvel superhero that can do anything and go anywhere in an instant.

What special powers would you demonstrate and how would you share them with your communities and the world?

How did this journey into your imagination feel? To what degree did your notice a new level of freedom and a lifting up of your spirits?

How did you feel when you shifted back from your right brain to your left to get on with your day?

In what ways might you have experienced a bit of heaviness from your current responsibilities and obligations?

EXERCISE:

Make some time today to exercise your imagination.

What could you do and where might you go as this practice spills over into some of your typical daily activities?

The pleasure of doing a thing in the same way at the same time every day

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“The pleasure of doing a thing in the same way at the same time every day and savoring it should be noted.”

—Arnold Bennett, 20th Century English novelist

Image from Unsplash by Prophsee Journals

To what degree are you a creature of habit? What are the routines and rituals you repeat each day in the same way and time? How many of these behaviors support your health and well-being? How many would you describe as simple pleasures or bring you a sense of pride?

Consider when and why you first developed these habits.

How much discipline and intentionality did it take for you to become the person who acts in this manner?

EXERCISE:

After savoring this list, examine what new or different habits you’d like to incorporate into the melodies and harmonies of your days.

Feel free to reply to this post with what you discover.

How do you limit yourself by caring about what others think of you

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How do you limit yourself by caring about what others think of you?

Image from Unsplash by Mitchel Lensink

What examples can you recall from your youth of peer pressure? For me, having a pair of Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers and a banana seat bike were top priorities to be accepted by the kids in the neighborhood.

What are some examples of peer pressure you experience these days in your personal and professional communities? What are the expected norms you accept and follow in order to fit it?

EXERCISE:

What is the cost of going along to get along?

Where would the “To Thine Own Self Be True” philosophy be the road to take at this point in your life?

How often do you play thought dominoes

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How often do you play thought dominoes where one thought cascades into another and another?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Bradyn Trollip

When was the last time you saw a domino exhibition? How long did it take to topple all the tiles? How many hours or even days did it take to set up?

Domino experts know all too well that one slip of the hand can destroy much of their effort well before showtime. Given this possibility, they almost always place blocking structures to stop the cascade of tiles to limit the damage.

EXERCISE:

How can you use your own mindfulness efforts as tools to slow or stop the domino thinking that can sometimes topple your days?

Friday Review: Risk

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Friday Review: Risk

What is your current tolerance for risk?  Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Don’t just go with the flow, take some dares through the rapids.”

 

 

 

“Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”

 

 

 

“There is no reason to risk what you have and need for what you don’t have and don’t need.”

 

 

 

“Why risk a lot to gain a little?”

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“Why risk a lot to gain a little?”

—Inspired by a post by Dan Cullum

Image from Unsplash by Alexandria Gilliott

Since 1966, seat belts have been standard equipment in American vehicles. By 1975, most first-world countries also had seat belt requirements.

I can clearly remember getting my driver’s license in 1973—there was never a question of me buckling up for safety. I also recall considerable push back by some people, refusing to wear them because it infringed on their personal freedom or might wrinkle their clothes.

Some people would even buckle them behind their backs so that the car would start.

EXERCISE:

Where do your or others risk a lot to gain a little?
Where do you or others not even see these risks until it is too late?

Don’t be fooled by the calendar

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“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One person gets only a week’s value out of a year while another gets a full year’s value out of a week.”

—Charles Richards, Author of The Psychology of Wealth

Barry’s Watch

I own a Warner Brothers watch given to me by my wife over 20 years ago.

It shows Sylvester the Cat using a toothpick with Tweety Bird inside still very much alive.

What makes this watch extra special is that it has a small button on the side that illuminates the face in the dark or when the light is low. I refer to it as my “Lighten up” watch, to remind me to not be so serious and engage in life with a more playful spirit.

This watch has been sitting in a drawer and has not been worn since the beginning of the pandemic.

Fortunately, I seem to have developed an internal light that illuminates my life and lets me know what’s truly important.

EXERCISE:

What are your thoughts about today’s quote?

What is your current relationship with time?

What do you consider your wisest investments of this precious resource?

Please reply to this post if your care to share your perspective.

So many conditions of happiness are available

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“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”

—Thích Nhất Hạnh, late Vietnamese Thiền Buddhist monk

Image from Amazon

As part of my coaching process, I introduce my clients to a concept called “creative tension” coined by Robert Frisk in his book, The Path of Least Resistance from the early 90’s.

The idea that an envisioned or expected future has the power to excite and pull us toward it has been a classic and useful tool in leadership training and enrolling people in new opportunities for millennia. It turns out that people tend to be pretty happy and engaged when their efforts lead to progress toward a desired future.

This means of generating a sense of happiness is, however, not the only condition available to us.

EXERCISE:

How can you use your amazing memory as well as your mindfulness capacities to examine the past and present to bolster your ability to seek and find more happiness?