Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Contemplation often makes life miserable

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“Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.”

—Nicolas Chamfort, 16th Century French writer

Image from Unsplash by Lucas Vasquez

Ed Kotch was the mayor of New York City from 1978 to 1989. In his efforts to be a good mayor and serve the city well, he would often ask How am I doing? to gain feedback and enhance his efforts.

How often do you evaluate your own efforts and contemplate how you are doing? Where are you judging yourself and making comparisons to others to see how you stack up? Where is this habit causing you misery?

EXERCISE:

How would taking yourself out from under your microscope of judgement free you up to simply act more and think less about your life?

How would assuming that you are doing just fine at being who you are help you be far happier and satisfied with your life?

“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

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“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

—Culadasa, former director of the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha

Image from Unsplash by Nubelson Fernandes

How many people and things are competing for your attention each day?

How many are welcome, and how many divert you from your desired paths?

Where and how do you have control — or at least significant influence — on what enters your direct and peripheral attention?

Imagine you were a healthcare professional in an emergency department, caring for people who showed up at the door. How would you triage individuals with critical needs versus those with only minor difficulties?

In each case, determining who gets immediate care and admitted to the hospital and who gets sent home is what’s important.

EXERCISE:

How do you triage the distractions that enter your world?

How would your own mental and physical health benefit from a more clearly defined method to do this?

Friday Review: Effort

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Friday Review: Effort

Where do you put in the most effort in your personal and professional lives? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Don’t forget how badly you once wanted what you have now.”

 

 

 

“Nobody notices what you do until you do not do it.”

 

 

 

“Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.”

 

 

 

We’re sliding into undirected negative change, and what’s worse, we’re getting used to it

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“We’re sliding into undirected negative change, and what’s worse, we’re getting used to it.”

—Octavia E. Butler, late American science fiction author

“misinformation on the web” from Unsplash, by @visuals

What news outlets do you watch? To what degree do they operate from the premise of if it bleeds it leads? What local, state, national, and global issues garner the majority of your attention, and which ones are of lesser importance?

When we examine the levels of negativity these days, it seems disturbingly true that it takes more and more to raise our eyebrows and even more for us to step forward and turn things around.

EXERCISE:

Where is the current slide into negativity totally unacceptable?

How can and will you constructively direct your voice and your efforts toward the positive changes you desire?

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

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“So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

—Jorge Luis Borges, 20th Century Argentine essayist, poet and translator

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spike

Today’s quote reminds me of Stephen Covey’s habit of being proactive. These days, it has become increasingly easy to have things come our way with little effort. With the click of a few buttons on our phones we can order a meal, get a ride, and have virtually anything delivered in minutes or days.

The caveat here is that we still need to do a bit of searching and actively click a button or two for our flowers to arrive.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are you waiting for things to happen with little or no effort on your part? Where would proactively planting your own garden and decorating your soul add more beauty and abundance to your life?

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars

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“I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars.”

—Walt Whitman, 19th Century American poet, essayist and journalist

Image from Unsplash by Chang Qing

As part of my health and fitness efforts I take a daily shot of wheat grass juice each morning. Although some people might describe this practice as drinking a lawn, I’ve learned to appreciate its fresh scent and unique flavor.

As a superfood touted by many, I’ve learned that this plant is made of the stuff of stars. About 70% of this plant is chlorophyll. If you add in vitamin C, vitamin A, vitamin E, amino acids, and a host of other phytonutrients, you get a veritable chemistry set of elements supporting your life.

EXERCISE:

Examine the eating habits of the world’s largest land animals. When you think of elephants, giraffes, rhinos, it is clear that plants do a body good. How might you incorporate more plants in your diet to live a healthier, star-studded life?

Practice the art of mindful breathing whenever you wish to reduce stress and experience calm

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Practice the art of mindful breathing whenever you wish to reduce stress and experience calm. Your breath can inspire and in-spirit you.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by bobby hendry

About three weeks ago I reached a meditation milestone of 1200 consecutive days. This practice, which began before the pandemic, has helped me reduce stress, remain calm, and—when things get out of balance—not lose my head nearly as often as others.

Fundamental to this practice is the act of mindful breathing which helps body, mind and soul navigate our daily pursuits in all the minutes and hours off the cushion.

EXERCISE:

Consider signing up for a free trial membership of a mediation app such as CALM or Headspace. If this commitment seems beyond your current interest, please investigate the wide variety of breathing exercises out there that can inspire and in-sprit you. Please give these efforts at least a week and let me know what you experience.

Friday Review: Awareness

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Friday Review: Awareness

How aware are you of what’s going on around you, and inside you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“We are sitting under the tree of our thinking minds, wondering why we’re not getting any sunshine!”

 

 

 

“It’s got to happen inside first.”

 

 

 

 

 

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

 

 

Keep your attention on your present moment efforts

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Keep your attention on your present moment efforts. Forget the summit and focus on each step of your journey.

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Alessandro Erbetta

As kids on road trips, we kept asking our dad: Are we there yet? Most of our trips took less than two hours, but our “ants in our pants” impatience made them seem like eternity.

When our own children were young, Wendy and I lived in Michigan. Most of our road trips were ten to twelve hours, heading back east to visit family, and of course, our annual trip to the Pocono Mountains. With better car radios, cassette recorders, games, and interesting places to stop along the way, I don’t recall ever hearing those four little words.

EXERCISE:

How focused are you these days in reaching your personal and professional summits?

How would greater appreciation of the steps along the way make your journeys even more memorable and remarkable?

Don’t worry if you’re making waves just by being yourself.

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“Don’t worry if you’re making waves just by being yourself. The moon does it all the time.”

—Scott Stabile, Inspirational self-help writer and speaker

Image from Unsplash by San Sahil

Did you know that the moon only shows us one of its sides? Not until we sent spacecraft and men to orbit our neighbor did we see its other side.

Perhaps this is wise council for each of us as well. Being our true selves and showing the world who we are with all our impact craters may not be such a bad thing.

The moon has been tugging on us for billions of years. We were so fascinated by its pull we decided to visit it in the 60’s and early 70’s, and plan to return in the coming years.

EXERCISE:

How can living true to your nature—even if it makes a few waves—attract the people and opportunities you most desire?