Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“When you are surrounded by children, the child in you comes back.”

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“When you are surrounded by children, the child in you comes back.”

—Celine Dion, best-selling Canadian recording artist

Our grandchildren, Weston and Ella

For me, being a grandfather feels different than being a father.

My son and daughter were born when I was 28 and 30. During these early years, I tended to be pretty serious, seeing my role as protector and provider as my primary responsibilities.

Today as a Pop Pop at age 65, I am now seeing a lighter, more playful side of myself.

These days, I consciously take the time to be more fully present in far more moments of my life. Although we still try to teach and instill positive life lessons in our two grandchildren, I find that they are also teaching us some valuable lessons on ways to live more spontaneously and joyfully.

EXERCISE:

How have you experienced children over the years?

How and where have they been your teachers and rekindled your youthful spirit?

What stories are you spreading?  Catch yourself before you release

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“What stories are you spreading?  Catch yourself before you release all the feathers in your gossip pillows.”

Image from Unsplash by pedro via

Almost everyone enjoys a good story. Whether truth or fiction, we can’t seem to pull ourselves away from all the juicy details. Perhaps most stories seem more engaging because they involve others compared to the humdrum lives we seem to lead.

We can all be judgmental and critical of others from time to time. This fact, along with the desire to be in the know, often has us participate in throwing a few gossip pillows. What feels like harmless banter in the moment often lets many harmful feathers fly that can never be retrieved once they are out.

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you a story spreader?

Where in your life have you seen and perhaps participated in letting some feathers fly?

How can you stop yourself and investigate such situations in the future to prevent a mess that could result?

We can revisit the past, be in the present, and even venture into the future

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We can revisit the past, be in the present, and even venture into the future with our miraculous minds.

—Calm App Reflection

James Webb Telescope Image from NASA.com

The James Webb telescope is a miraculous piece of technology that cost ten billion dollars and took over 25 years to create. It is 100 times more powerful than the Hubble telescope, which has transformed our knowledge and understanding of the universe for decades.

These devices use various frequencies of light to examine the past, based on the distance of diverse objects. With the finite speed of light being 186,000 miles per second, we can view the moon 1.3 seconds ago, our sun 8 minutes ago, and even distant galaxies over 13.5 billion years ago. With our awareness of our ever expanding and accelerating universe, we can also use computer simulations to look way into the future.

EXERCISE:

What value have you gained through lessons from the past?

What moments are you currently experiencing that you don’t want to miss?

What potential opportunities do you see for yourself and others as the future unfolds?

Friday Review: Future

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Friday Review: Future

What is your attitude toward the future? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

“Life is like dessert. Keep your fork; the best is yet to come.”

 

 

 

“Teachers should prepare the student for the student’s future, not for the teacher’s past.”

 

 

 

 

intentions have a shelf life

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“Intentions have a shelf life.”

Image from Unsplash by Maria Lin Kim

When was the last time you went shopping for groceries?

What are the factors that have you select a particular item and place it in your cart?

How often do you examine the expiration dates and perhaps look to the back of each shelf to select the items with the best dates to limit spoilage and waste?

Our intentions are not like Twinkies!  They don’t have an indefinite shelf life in which they stay forever soft and fresh.

Just examine the practice of making New Year’s resolutions and see how many fall by the wayside in weeks or a few months.

EXERCISE:

What are your most important intentions?

How can and will you act on them with urgency in the coming days so that they have the greatest chance of being realized?

It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it.

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“It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it.”

—Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist

Image from Vecteezy.com

Take a few minutes today to do a relationship review.

Closely examine the health of your most significant personal and professional interactions.

What word or phrase would describe the pattern of these engagements?

Where do you experience difficulties getting along and find yourself judging and being critical of others?

Most of us would love — from time to time — to have a magic wand to wave over others, to have them think and behave as we’d like.

Although we have no such power over anyone else, we do have the magic touch when it comes to our own ability to change ourselves.

EXERCISE:

Display Tuli Kupferberg’s quote, “When patterns are broken new world will emerge” in a well-trafficked place in your life.

What patterns can and will you break to have a new world of more successful relationships emerge?

“If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.”

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“If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.”

—Toni Morrison, late American novelist

Image from Unsplash by Farshad Rezvanian

The word surrender usually has a negative connotation.

It often points to weakness and being beaten by someone or something much stronger than us.

Much of the time, many of us find ourselves fighting for a just cause — or against some other adversary — when our visions and values are in opposition.

Even the wind, on occasion, has us leaning in against its force, to head in a direction we wish to go.

There are far more things in life that we do not control that the things we do.

Riding the winds of change like a hot air balloon — or adapting ourselves to the wind as in sailing — can still take us to beautiful places with peace, freedom, and delight.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently fighting the winds of change?

How would surrendering to these currents and letting them take you lead you to some wonderful places you never considered?

 We aim to be generous, kind and compassionate

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We aim to be generous, kind and compassionate. Being human means that sometimes our intentions often miss the mark.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Norbert Braun

For the past several years, many people — including me — have been looking inward at our lives. Being knocked off balance by a variety of factors has made us more mindful and aware of our place in the world, and has caused us to pursue greater meaning and purpose.

It has been quite gratifying to see countless acts of compassion, generosity, and kindness in my communities and throughout the world. I’ve done better, but not always my best, at exercising these attributes.

In such cases, forgiveness and the resolve to keep trying are noteworthy ways to express our best human intentions.

EXERCISE:

Where have your generous, kind, and compassionate efforts missed the mark?

Where would forgiveness and giving things another go help you fulfill more of your best intentions?

Even in the longest life real living is the least portion thereof

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“Even in the longest life, real living is the least portion thereof.”

—Seneca, Roman stoic philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Jeremy Belanger

Social media posts are fascinating.

When we scroll and post we are constantly editing and discerning how we and others are living.

Like an editor of a film, newspaper article, or book, we take out all of the items of marginal interest and leave only what seems noteworthy and exceptional.

If a documentary film crew were to spend a typical day, week, or even a year following you and your family, how much real living would remain?

How much trivial and meaningless footage would be left on the cutting room floor?

EXERCISE:

What qualities of life represent real living to you?

How can and will you infuse more of these genuine and meaningful expressions of living into your days?

What shifts in perspective might have you reconsider what and how much of these experiences you share with others?