Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

It is good to have an end to journey toward

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“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”

—Ursula K. Le Guin, Late American speculative fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Neal E. Johnson

What are your most important goals for 2022? To what degree have you progressed toward them and how do you feel about your efforts?

How do you expect to feel when you reach the end of your journey and stand on the peaks of your achievements?  What then?

Another goal and then another. How is it possible to remain energized and not be let down soon after we actually hold the prize?

Numerous experts on personal and professional development suggest we focus on growth versus goals.  This shift in perspective supports us in gaining satisfaction from our efforts and milestones along our paths instead of just the pots of gold at our journey’s end.

EXERCISE:

Where would adopting a growth versus a goal mindset enhance your motivation, momentum, and levels of success?

Which small irritation are you ready to let slide

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Which small irritation are you ready to let slide? Why?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

In the early 90s, Thomas Leonard and Coach University were pioneering forces in the coaching industry. In his teaching and in his book, The Portable Coach, he introduced an exercise that involved reducing or eliminating the people and things in our lives that we were “putting up with.” He called them “tolerations.”

The exercise began with an inventory of the items in our world that occupied our minds and caused annoyance and dismay. The next step was to begin removing them one by one to free ourselves up to focus on more important people and things we welcomed and enjoyed.

EXERCISE:

Create a list of your own tolerations and remove or reduce the ones you can. If you are unable to do so, which are you willing to let slide? What will be the benefits when you do?

Friday Review: Uniqueness

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FRIDAY REVIEW: UNIQUENESS

What makes you unique? Here are a few uniqueness-related posts you may have missed.

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

 

 

 

“Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.”

 

 

 

“Be distinct or be extinct.”

 

 

 

 

 

The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by answering

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“The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by answering.”

—David Whyte, Anglo-Irish poet

Image from Unsplash by Hadija Saidi

What are some of the questions you have been asking yourself and others over the past couple of years?

As a lifelong learner, I marvel at the power and insights offered by provocative open-ended questions.  These tools dig below the surface of our day-to-day experiences to uncover new depths of understanding of one another and the world.

In the coaching profession we often say “let your questions do the heavy lifting.”  The surprising thing for me, based on Whyte’s quote, is that both parties can be shaped through these exchanges.

EXERCISE:

What are some of your favorite “stop you in your tracks” questions?

How have these questions shaped your identity and opened up pathways for you?

Two books I’ve found very useful on this subject are A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer.

Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it

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“Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it.”

—Hannah Arendt, 20th Century political philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor

Image from Unsplash by Daniel Schludi

Wendy and I love going to the movies. Although we can now see thousands of films from a multitude of streaming services from home, somehow the big screen is how we most enjoy these stories.

We recently saw Death on The Nile based on Agatha Christie’s classic novel. The public rated this film considerably higher than the critics and we, too, were gripped by the twists and turns untangled by the famous Hercule Poirot. Great stories magically take us along for the ride without having to narrate everything we are supposed to see. Discovering many clues on our own and being our own sleuths is a big part of the fun.

EXERCISE:

How and where do you use storytelling to convey important messages and engage your audiences?

In what ways can you better reveal meaning without committing the error of defining it?

I enjoy the storytelling wisdom of Bernadette Jiwa. You can learn about her work at https://thestoryoftelling.com/

“Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

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“Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

—Michael Pollan

Image from Unsplash by Diana Polekhina

Did you do it again this year? Have you announced to the world or perhaps just spoke quietly to yourself that this is the year you will definitely lose weight and get in better shape? Physical distancing and working from home these past two years have made this goal extra challenging.

The quote above sounds so simple but as we all know it is far from easy. Countless external and internal factors can cause us to slip, slide, and fall off our health habits around mid-February only to promise ourselves to give it another go tomorrow, next week, after a vacation we deserve, or next January.

EXERCISE:

Check out Ju Young Kim’s impressive article entitled Optimal Diet Strategies for weight loss and weight lost maintenance.  I will be happy to send you a copy — email me at barry@dempcoaching.com. If time is limited, just post today’s quote on your fridge.

“Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

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“Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

—Michael Pollan

Image from Unsplash by Diana Polekhina

Did you do it again this year? Have you announced to the world or perhaps just spoken quietly to yourself that this is the year you will definitely lose weight and get in better shape? Physical distancing and working from home these past two years have made this goal extra challenging.

The quote above sounds so simple but as we all know it is far from easy. Countless external and internal factors can cause us to slip, slide, and fall off our health habits around mid-February only to promise ourselves to give it another go tomorrow, next week, after a vacation we deserve, or next January.

EXERCISE:

Check out Ju Young Kim’s impressive article entitled Optimal Diet Strategies for weight loss and weight lost maintenance. I will be happy to send you a copy if you email me at barry@dempcoaching.com. If time is limited, just post today’s quote on your fridge.

To be To do To have Take life in this order

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To be. To do. To have. Take life in this order.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Paico Official

The CALM app I use each morning recently added a new seven-minute morning meditation/guided journey called The Daily Jay with Jay Shetty. Jay is an English author, a former Hindu monk, and a life coach. Prior to joining the CALM team, he was perhaps best known as the host of the podcast On Purpose which included many famous guests and has received over 60 million downloads.

In a recent offering, he suggested the idea of a To-Be list to go along with our often-crammed To-Do lists.

Considering how we currently behave, and then shifting and choosing how we would prefer to be as we do the things we need and want to do, can make a remarkable difference. Consider the following word list and expand it for yourself as you do your chores, go to work, listen to your children, and relate to others in your various communities.

Calm Patient Positive Hopeful Courageous
Generous Loving Supportive Helpful Kind
Open-Minded Bold Caring Disciplined Funny
Joyful Content Fair Nurturing Adventurous

EXERCISE:

Add an extra To Be column next to your To-Do list today.  Please reply to this post about the kind of day you have. What other words of being did you add to your list?

Friday Review: Reputation

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Friday Review: REPUTATION

How aware are you of your reputation? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”

 

 

 

“Men’s evil manners live in brass; their virtues we write in water.”

 

 

 

“Approach every task as though it were the moment that will define you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“But what difference does it make who spoke the words? They were uttered for the world.”

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“But what difference does it make who spoke the words? They were uttered for the world.”

—Seneca, ancient Roman Stoic philosopher, statesman, and dramatist

Image from Unsplash by Shakti Rajpurohit

The Quotable Coach blog recently surpassed its 2500th post. The vast majority of the quotes that inspire these posts are not mine. They represent nuggets of wisdom offered to the world from many brilliant individuals, including Seneca. I do my best to offer the correct attribution whenever possible.

I admire and appreciate Seneca’s sincere words and generosity of spirit intending to support others without seeking credit.

When we interpret and share our views of these lessons and come up with some of our own, we too can release our own generous efforts to serve and support others.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom do you pay forward words of wisdom from others in your communities? How does this deepen the value and impact these lessons have had on your life?