Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Help the world by leaving a trail of who you are

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“Help the world by leaving a trail of who you are.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Universal Eye

A few weeks ago, I was taking my daily walk and my cellphone rang. My natural reaction is always to look at the screen to see if it is a family member or someone I know. The call was from a location in Wisconsin where my son lives and yet the number was unfamiliar. My gut somehow had me take the call.

The woman on the line began her comments “You probably don’t remember me but about 20 years ago you spoke to me about coaching. Our conversation made such an impression, I chose to pursue this as my career as well.”

Although we never engaged in a formal relationship, somehow this initial genuine conversation had altered her entire career trajectory.

For many coaches, coaching is not just we do, it’s who we are. Our daily efforts do not always leave an obvious trail and yet we are all called to keep walking this path to bring out the best in others.

EXERCISE:

How are you walking your own authentic path intending to help and serve others?

What are some of the visible and hidden trails you have pioneered through your efforts?

Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path but the lesson to be learned is always ours

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“Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours.”

—Melody Beattie, American self-help author

Image from Unsplash by niko photos

Imagine your life as an oak tree standing tall in a healthy forest. Your life began as an acorn filled with potential from a nearby member of your family. You got lucky that first season, landing in a fertile spot with lots of water, nutrients, and sunlight.

With all of these positive influences you received the bonus of a squirrel burying you, and not remembering where, over the winter. You sprouted, started sending your branches and leaves to the sky and your roots deep into the ground. One day you, too, got to be generous, and dropped your own wise acorns onto the ground.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the most impactful lessons you have learned over the years?

Who were some of the guides and teachers that helped you grow?

What lessons are you still learning and who are the people that continue to bring out your best?

Embrace the new year and take the time to be renewed and reborn

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Embrace the new year and take the time to be renewed and reborn.

—Calm app Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Lukas Szmigiel

It is very common this time of year for many of us to review and reflect on the past year. TV shows and all types of media provide us with the top stories, photographs, and events that impacted and shaped us. How have you changed? What have you learned? What wisdom have you gained?

Instead of looking within, we may wish to look outside at nature’s mirror for guidance on living.  What can you observe regarding how our natural world reveals clear examples of ongoing growth, renewal, and transformation?

EXERCISE:

Sometime this week, get out of your home and your vehicle and step more fully into the natural world.

Take a walk, visit a body of water, look up at the sky and even try a forest bath.

What lessons are being offered to help you more fully embrace the year ahead?

Friday Review: Ambition

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Friday Review: Ambition

How well-defined are your ambitions? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”

 

 

 

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”

 

 

“We are capable of greater things than we realize.”

 

 

 

 

“When things feel heavy, reach out to whomever is near and distribute the weight.”

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“When things feel heavy, reach out to whomever is near and distribute the weight.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Rémi Walle

This past spring and summer Wendy and I began and eventually finished our move from Michigan to Pennsylvania. Our last move prior to this was 29 years earlier and we had the services of a corporate relocation company that handled all the details — including most of the heavy lifting.

The added years and the lack of corporate support made this move far more demanding physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thankfully we were blessed with the help of our amazing children, friends, and some interesting out-of-the-blue strangers who came to the rescue to lighten our load.

EXERCISE:

Where have certain aspects of your life become heavy and difficult to manage? Who are some of the people in your various communities that can and would happily let you distribute this weight? Who in your life needs your assistance at this heavy time in their lives?

 

“The eyes experience less stress when they can look upon a wider horizon.”

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“The eyes experience less stress when they can look upon a wider horizon.”

—R. D. Chin, Feng Shui Master & Architect

Image from Unsplash by v2osk

Try reading a book held 4-6 inches from your eyes. Slowly move the text away an inch or two every few seconds until you can make out the words with some difficulty. Hold your gaze there and read one complete page — or even a single paragraph — and notice the strain.

Now move your arms away to the proper focal length and reread the same passage.

Sometimes we find ourselves far too close to a situation, in which we may lack the objectivity and perspective to see the whole picture. Zooming out to provide a wider view may be all that is required to see things more clearly.

EXERCISE:

Take a look at The View from Above with astronaut Terry Virts.

Sometimes a little distance is all you need to see things in a brand-new way.

“We are the only creatures that seek out guarantees, and in doing so, we snuff the spark that is discovery.”

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“We are the only creatures that seek out guarantees, and in doing so, we snuff the spark that is discovery.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Marcos Paulo Prado

At the age of eleven I grew up seemingly overnight. My dad, who was then 41, had a stroke. Everything changed for the family. Dad’s recovery was slow; he was able to return to work in about six months with only limited residual impact.

For me, it seemed like my childhood was lost and I became more diligent and responsible given dad’s limited capacities. I felt the need to be strong and dependable to help hold the family together. Doing so seemed to please my parents very much, and I continued to play this role as I launched my own life and became a husband and father.

As our two children left the nest and Wendy and I became grandparents a few years ago, a spark of discovery returned. Observing young Weston — and little Ella now that we live 20 minutes away — has rekindled new sparks of curiosity and wonder in all of us.

EXERCISE:

Where do you find yourself seeking guarantees and sure things in your life? How has doing so diminished or snuffed out your spark of discovery? Where and how can you rekindle this sense of aliveness throughout this new year?

“Who in your life deserves a sincere apology and a shift in your behavior?”

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“Who in your life deserves a sincere apology and a shift in your behavior?”

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by mark tulip

Apologizing is an act of generosity. It acknowledges a wrongdoing and seeks to make amends. We cannot change the past, but a sincere apology and a request for forgiveness can create the foundation for a better future.

Make note of the word “can.”

Words alone without a definitive and observable change in behavior aren’t usually enough to mend life’s fences for long.

EXERCISE:

To whom might you owe a sincere apology? What do you plan to say and what new promises regarding your future behavior will make things right?

Friday Review: Aging

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Friday Review: Aging

What are your attitudes and beliefs about age? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit would never grow old.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower.”

 

 

 

“The Inner life of any great thing will be incomprehensible to me until I develop and deepen an inner life of my own.”

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“The Inner life of any great thing will be incomprehensible to me until I develop and deepen an inner life of my own.”

—Parker J. Palmer, founder and Sr. Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage & Renewal

Image from Unsplash by Naassom Azevedo

As a child I did not enjoy reading. Books with big words were the worst and having to “look them up” in the 20-pound unabridged dictionary added to my displeasure. Not understanding the meaning of things and having to read aloud in school were sources of painful frustration and embarrassment.

Things shifted when I finished college and entered the working world. Learning suddenly became more relevant and purposeful, and I gobbled up new sources of information and knowledge to feed my appetite for professional development.

It took a bit longer for me to find my hunger for morsels of personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. If you told me years earlier, I’d be reading spiritual resources — and even poetry — on a daily basis, you would surely have seen my eyes roll.

EXERCISE:

How have you developed and deepened your own inner life? What inner work is calling you to continue on this path toward greater self-awareness and wisdom?