When You Die

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“What if when you die, they ask: How was Heaven?”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Close your eyes and imagine how heaven would look and feel. Take your time, explore all the vivid colors and inspiration beauty of this Utopian world.

Now imagine that you are a friendly alien visiting the earth for the first time, viewing this beautiful blue, green, and white world.

What if Earth were heaven? What if we were all too unaware to appreciate what was right in front of us all along?

EXERCISE:

Assume a “Heaven on Earth” attitude all day today, and consider sharing your thoughts with those you care about, or simply capturing your perspective in a journal or notebook.

A Wonderful Thought

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“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet!”

-Author Unknown

image from searchengineland.com

image from searchengineland.com

Today’s quote caused me to pause a bit longer than I normally do as I look to the New Year ahead. Instead of looking at the year as a whole, or even fleshing out the priority goals and objectives I wish to tackle, I plan on looking at each day as a unique and precious gift.

One way to see the value of this exercise is to take a trip into your past to examine and pleasantly re-experience, through memory, some of the really great days and experiences. As you take the time to do this, count how many great days you can recall. The list will probably be finite.

EXERCISE:

How can you design the coming year, proactively and intentionally, to have as many remarkable days this year as you have had to this point in your life?

Choices Reflect Your Hopes

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“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

-Nelson Mandela

image from www.cbc.ca

image from www.cbc.ca

There are two primary schools of thought regarding what spurs people into action. The first is what I call the “avoiding pain” strategy, in which people examine the bad things that may occur if they don’t take action. Some sales methods take advantage of this approach by turning up the level of pain in order to compel people to buy a product or service.

The alternative strategy, suggested in Nelson Mandela’s statement, could be called the “pleasure strategy.” Here, a compelling and hopeful objective mobilizes us to choose certain actions and behaviors that will help us realize our desirable future.

EXERCISE:

What will you do to make the majority of your life choices—personally and professionally—from a more hopeful perspective?

If Criticism is Needed

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“If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don’t use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.”

-Ann Landers, Advice Columnist

image from www.blogging4jobs.com

image from www.blogging4jobs.com

Providing constructive feedback is the cornerstone of a healthy and productive coaching relationship. Criticism, or the more common term, “constructive criticism” can often have less than desirable and even destructive consequences.

A critical determinant to providing effective and optimal feedback is a trusting relationship in which both parties are focused and committed to the same objective.

EXERCISE:

How would a more tactful coaching approach be used in your world, to provide the valuable feedback you desire in supporting those around you toward enhanced performance and productivity?

Be There for Others

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“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”

-Dodinsky, New York Times bestselling author

QC #925

Some of the most frequent coaching assignments I engage in are focused on leadership development. The volume of resources on this subject is staggering, which points to the universal desire and need for this very important skill.

Much has been written in recent years about servant leadership, in which a high priority is placed on serving key stakeholders such as customers and of course, employees. Sometimes so much attention is placed on others that the leader can overlook or completely miss their own needs. Yet, they must attend to themselves if they are to serve others at the highest level.

EXERCISE:

In what way do you need to satisfy your own needs so that you can serve others in your personal and professionals lives?

What You Want Most

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“Don’t give up what you want the most for what you want right now.”

-attributed to Peter Rossomando, Head Football Coach at CCSU

Image from wtvr.com

Image from wtvr.com

A characteristic shared by many of the most successful people is their ability to delay gratification in order to achieve their most highly desired objectives.

In the late 60s/early 70s Stanford University psychologist Walter Mischel did a study in which children ages four to six were given the choice between one marshmallow provided immediately, or two marshmallows if they waited for 15 minutes. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that those who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes.

EXERCISE:

What disciplined actions, behaviors, and habits must you develop in order to resist short-term wants so that you can realize your most cherished and valued priorities?

Everyone you meet

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“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

-Wendy Mass, Author

Image from flickr by Jennifer

Image from flickr by Jennifer

One of the great honors of being a coach is the fact that people open up far more completely than in your typical daily discussions. It is not uncommon for clients to share some of their most difficult and challenging issues, because they realize a greater likelihood of progress is possible when they acknowledge their difficulties.

My experience of over 20 years and well over 1,000 clients points to the fact that virtually everyone has battles and burdens.

EXERCISE:

How would bringing greater kindness and compassion to your interactions today bring greater strength and capacities to those around you, who are fighting battles of which you are not aware?

Be a Zapper

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“Be a Zapper, not a Sapper!”

—William Byham, Ph.D.

QC #922

Over my many years of coaching, I’ve found that the more simple an idea or behavior is, the more likely it is to be understood, applied, and habituated. When it comes to relationship development and creating empowering successful organizational cultures, today’s quote packs a ton of value in only six words.

The act of Zapping involves interaction with others in an energizing and positive manner. Examples are:

  • Being genuinely interested in others
  • Listening carefully and completely to what others are saying
  • Being open and receptive to the point of view of others
  • Looking for value in what others say and do
  • Saying Please and Thank You
  • Acknowledging the contribution of others

The act of Sapping involves the opposite behavior, in which others experience draining and energy-reducing interactions. Examples are:

  • Being judgmental and critical of others’ ideas and behaviors
  • Not listening to others, or ignoring them
  • Taking credit for others ideas or achievements
  • Interrupting, or not allowing others to express their views
  • Gossiping
  • Betrayal of confidences
  • Lying or being unethical

EXERCISE:

Create a Zapping/Sapping log book in which you can capture these daily energy boosters or drainers.

Request feedback from those around you. Work to increase your Zapping, and reduce your Sapping.

Consider picking up a copy of Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment by William Byham, and consider sharing this resource with others in your communities.

Seminar in a Sentence

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“A quote can be a seminar in a sentence.”

-Author Unknown

QC #921

About a year ago, I published my first book, based on the Quotable Coach series. It was subtitled “daily nuggets of practical wisdom,” based on the votes and recommendations of our loyal readers.

In our time-crunched lives, the idea of getting a seminar in a sentence has a great deal of appeal to many. I am pleased to report that we now receive over 6,000 monthly hits on the Quotable Coach website, and have well over 1,500 daily subscribers worldwide, because of kind readers like you.

EXERCISE:

Please reply to this post with your favorite “seminar in a sentence,” and feel free to share its value and importance in your life.

Consider purchasing a copy of The Quotable Coach book for yourself or as a holiday gift to others. Thank You!

Look for Rainbows

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“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.”

-Author Unknown

photo from Flickr by Matthew Paulson

photo from Flickr by Matthew Paulson

I often recommend Six Thinking Hats by Edward Debono to my coaching clients. This book can help them become more effective and successful in their personal and professional communities.

Based on today’s quote, the rain and the dark would represent the wearing of a black hat, which points to the negative, and why things are not working.

Wearing a yellow hat, which is represented by the rainbows and stars, points to the positive, optimistic, and constructive perspective relative to one’s circumstances.

Looking for and perceiving the good and workable possibilities in things is without question a skill that will bring you far greater results and life satisfaction than walking around in the dark, all wet.

EXERCISE:

Share this post with one person in your professional and personal worlds. Ask them for feedback regarding how often — or not — you look for the beauty of the rainbows and stars above. If they are open to your coaching, you may offer your view of which hats they wear, as well.