Christmas Waves a Magic Wand

Posted on December 24, 2015 by Barry

“Christmas waves a magic wand over the world, and Behold! Everything is softer and more beautiful.”

-Norman Vincent Peale, 20th Century minister and author

Image from groupleme.com

A friend and colleague, Dr. Jean Ann Larson, shared today’s quote in her recent newsletter. Regardless of your religious beliefs or spiritual practices, this time of year holds a certain specialness for most people.

It is a time of reflection, generosity, forgiveness, gratitude, and hope which, as Peale points out, softens and beautifies our world, inspiring us to carry the magic into the New Year.

EXERCISE:

Throughout the holidays, please use your own magic wand to soften and beautify your world. Imagine the possibility of seven billion people doing the same.

Things You Have

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Barry

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alvanman

With Black Friday behind us and the Christmas holiday just days away, a great deal of attention is being devoted to consumerism and asking our Santa’s for the things we desire.

About ten years ago, my wife Wendy and I took a very special vacation to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We made a practical budgetary decision, and promised to forgo purchasing additional gifts for one another.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked to see wrapped packages from my wife sitting by the fireplace. I began to get upset, thinking she had broken her promise. With an elfish smile, Wendy simply said“Yes, I know what we promised,” and asked me to open the gifts.

To my pleasant surprise, inside those packages were some of my favorite possessions⏤things I already owned and loved. Opening the packages caused me to remember how much I enjoyed them!

EXERCISE:

How can you take greater satisfaction in the things you already have, rather than things you want or even receive? Consider paying particular attention to non-material items.

Won’t Change You

Posted on December 22, 2015 by Barry

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.”

—Fred Devito, American Yoga Instructor

Image from londonpowertunnels.co.uk

What areas of your personal or professional life would you most like to change for the better? How long have you wanted these changes in your life? If your answer is “far longer than I care to admit,” a new approach will be required.

The New Year is just around the corner and a high percentage of people will be looking to resolve or achieve far more this time around.

One key to this success is to choose only a small number of challenging objectives that will cause you to stretch and grow, and to garner many more social and structural sources of support to virtually guarantee your success.

EXERCISE:

List one or two challenging goals for the New Year. Display them in multiple places in your personal and professional worlds. Solicit the rigorous support of a coach, mentor, family member, or friend, who will not give up on you to assure the lasting changes and results you desire.

Once this has occurred, select another priority goal and repeat the process, to have your best year yet!

When You Die

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Barry

“What if when you die, they ask: How was Heaven?”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Close your eyes and imagine how heaven would look and feel. Take your time, explore all the vivid colors and inspiration beauty of this Utopian world.

Now imagine that you are a friendly alien visiting the earth for the first time, viewing this beautiful blue, green, and white world.

What if Earth were heaven? What if we were all too unaware to appreciate what was right in front of us all along?

EXERCISE:

Assume a “Heaven on Earth” attitude all day today, and consider sharing your thoughts with those you care about, or simply capturing your perspective in a journal or notebook.

A Wonderful Thought

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Barry

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet!”

-Author Unknown

image from searchengineland.com

Today’s quote caused me to pause a bit longer than I normally do as I look to the New Year ahead. Instead of looking at the year as a whole, or even fleshing out the priority goals and objectives I wish to tackle, I plan on looking at each day as a unique and precious gift.

One way to see the value of this exercise is to take a trip into your past to examine and pleasantly re-experience, through memory, some of the really great days and experiences. As you take the time to do this, count how many great days you can recall. The list will probably be finite.

EXERCISE:

How can you design the coming year, proactively and intentionally, to have as many remarkable days this year as you have had to this point in your life?

Choices Reflect Your Hopes

Posted on December 17, 2015 by Barry

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

-Nelson Mandela

image from www.cbc.ca

There are two primary schools of thought regarding what spurs people into action. The first is what I call the “avoiding pain” strategy, in which people examine the bad things that may occur if they don’t take action. Some sales methods take advantage of this approach by turning up the level of pain in order to compel people to buy a product or service.

The alternative strategy, suggested in Nelson Mandela’s statement, could be called the “pleasure strategy.” Here, a compelling and hopeful objective mobilizes us to choose certain actions and behaviors that will help us realize our desirable future.

EXERCISE:

What will you do to make the majority of your life choices—personally and professionally—from a more hopeful perspective?

If Criticism is Needed

Posted on December 16, 2015 by Barry

“If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don’t use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.”

-Ann Landers, Advice Columnist

image from www.blogging4jobs.com

Providing constructive feedback is the cornerstone of a healthy and productive coaching relationship. Criticism, or the more common term, “constructive criticism” can often have less than desirable and even destructive consequences.

A critical determinant to providing effective and optimal feedback is a trusting relationship in which both parties are focused and committed to the same objective.

EXERCISE:

How would a more tactful coaching approach be used in your world, to provide the valuable feedback you desire in supporting those around you toward enhanced performance and productivity?

Be There for Others

Posted on December 15, 2015 by Barry

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”

-Dodinsky, New York Times bestselling author

QC #925

Some of the most frequent coaching assignments I engage in are focused on leadership development. The volume of resources on this subject is staggering, which points to the universal desire and need for this very important skill.

Much has been written in recent years about servant leadership, in which a high priority is placed on serving key stakeholders such as customers and of course, employees. Sometimes so much attention is placed on others that the leader can overlook or completely miss their own needs. Yet, they must attend to themselves if they are to serve others at the highest level.

EXERCISE:

In what way do you need to satisfy your own needs so that you can serve others in your personal and professionals lives?

What You Want Most

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Barry

“Don’t give up what you want the most for what you want right now.”

-attributed to Peter Rossomando, Head Football Coach at CCSU

Image from wtvr.com

A characteristic shared by many of the most successful people is their ability to delay gratification in order to achieve their most highly desired objectives.

In the late 60s/early 70s Stanford University psychologist Walter Mischel did a study in which children ages four to six were given the choice between one marshmallow provided immediately, or two marshmallows if they waited for 15 minutes. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that those who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes.

EXERCISE:

What disciplined actions, behaviors, and habits must you develop in order to resist short-term wants so that you can realize your most cherished and valued priorities?

Everyone you meet

Posted on December 11, 2015 by Barry

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

-Wendy Mass, Author

Image from flickr by Jennifer

One of the great honors of being a coach is the fact that people open up far more completely than in your typical daily discussions. It is not uncommon for clients to share some of their most difficult and challenging issues, because they realize a greater likelihood of progress is possible when they acknowledge their difficulties.

My experience of over 20 years and well over 1,000 clients points to the fact that virtually everyone has battles and burdens.

EXERCISE:

How would bringing greater kindness and compassion to your interactions today bring greater strength and capacities to those around you, who are fighting battles of which you are not aware?