Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mineragua Sparkling Water

To what degree do you race through your life?

Some ways to estimate your pace is to examine your driving habits or the time it takes to eat your meals.

Sometimes — if you are like many of us — you do both at the same time.

Driving fast and eating fast food are clearly not wise things to do.

If you have ever taken the Real Age test, you already know that these behaviors can reduce your biologic age to something below your chronological age.

EXERCISE:

Schedule a candlelit meal with your significant other.

Block out twice as much time as you usually do to sip and savor your meal and the time with this special person.

Where else in your life may you be missing the full flavors of life?

How could slowing down and drinking in more moments add more life to your years?

“We often work harder in our dreams than in our life.”

“We often work harder in our dreams than in our life.”

Mark Nepo, poet, teacher, and storyteller

Image from Unsplash by Hans Reniers

Although I don’t usually remember my dreams beyond the first minute or two after waking, I often find myself day-dreaming throughout the day.

When I watch others doing great things on TV or in my personal and professional communities, I often project myself into their efforts.

This form of wishful thinking and level of achievement is purely a mental exercise, and rarely if ever shows up in actual performance.

EXERCISE:

Where do you work harder in your dreams than in your life?

Where in your world is it time to give it your all and break a sweat?

What are your most restorative activities

What are your most restorative activities?  How can you use them as natural remedies to pick you up or calm you down when needed?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jenny Hill

Meditation, exercise, and sleep are three of my most restorative activities.

Whenever I find myself a bit off my game or feel out of sorts, I go to these habitual activities to renew and restore my balance and well-being.

When meditating, the focus is often on the breath where the inhale picks you up and the exhale calms you down.

Knowing this is not enough.

It’s in the daily practice that we ingrain the capacity to routinely smooth out the rough edges of our lives.

EXERCISE:

What activities do you use to pick you up and calm you down throughout your day?

Consider exploring this subject with friends and family to expand your repertoire of options.

When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Rachael Gorjestani

How do you usually feel on Friday compared to Monday? If you have engaging plans for the weekend or have a career you enjoy, your answer is usually very positive for both scenarios.

What happens to many working folks on Sunday evenings if their jobs don’t exactly light them up?

The situations above are examples of positive and negative “Creative Tension,”  where the nature of the future has a significant effect on our moods and overall satisfaction with life.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you be more intentional with your life to use the power of “creative tension” to envision and realize more of your hopes and dreams?

Friday Review: Happiness

Friday Review: Happiness

What people, things, and places define your level of happiness? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“As we grow older, real beauty travels from the face to the heart, appeal turns to charm, hurt to wisdom, and great moments to shared memories. The true beauty of life is not how happy you are now, but how happy others are because of you.”

 

 

 

 

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

 

 

“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Power is influence over external events. Peace is influence over internal events.”

“Power is influence over external events. Peace is influence over internal events.”

James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Belinda Fewings

When was the last time you felt powerless?

Take a close look at times in your personal and professional worlds when your progress was stalled or stopped. Examine both big and small situations to see how you responded.

When external events don’t go your way it’s often helpful to go within to grant yourself a sense of peace.

Your inner world can provide smoother sailing and open roads even when obstacles block your external paths.

EXERCISE:

Mindfully explore your ability to experience peace and power. When you find the external doors of life closed, notice how your inner world can help you find more peaceful paths forward.

“Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”

“Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”

Cal Newport, Professor at Georgetown University

Image from Unsplash by Claire Mueller

Someone once said that life is like a toilet paper roll — the more sheets you use the faster it spins.

Let’s say you begin life with 1,000 sheets. That’s 12 sheets per year, one for each month. How many of your sheets are left given your current age?

When you take a look back over your life, how much of it is a blur — or worse yet — was wasted on people and things that did not really matter?

With this hindsight, what intentional adjustments do you intend to make moving forward?

EXERCISE:

Create two list for yourself:

  1. What truly matters
  2. What doesn’t

With this clarity, sort your items into the categories of More, Less, Start, and Stop, to guide your future efforts.

Consider sharing your intentions with a family member, friend, colleague, or coach to support you now and in the future.

“The more neatly you fit in society, the less free you actually are.”

“The more neatly you fit in society, the less free you actually are.”

Naval Ravikant, American Entrepreneur and Investor

Image from Unsplash by Noah Näff

For as long as I can remember, fitting in was one of my top priorities.

Looking back at my school years, friendships, and careers, doing what was expected always seemed like the best way to go. Standing out seemed dangerous, and would almost certainly incur considerable judgement from others.

Where in your personal and professional world is fitting in a high priority?

How much freedom and wiggle room do you experience when you simply go along to get along?  What aspects of yourself must you suppress in these situations, and what has it cost you over the years?

EXERCISE:

Much like in the game of Monopoly, give yourself a “Get Out of Jail” card to use whenever you feel imprisoned by society.

What new possibilities and freedoms could you realize by stepping out instead of fitting in?

Notice the pressure of perfect

Notice the pressure of perfect.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Christian Erfurt

Today’s quote is for you, even if you are not a perfectionist.

Although many of us like order in our lives, most of us realize that life is messy and perfection isn’t possible.

For those of us who know or perhaps live with a perfectionist, we can see the pressure this trait puts on them — and us — through our proximity.

Far too often we fall short of our expectations and the angst of not being good enough sends many of us to dark places.

Getting 1600 on your SATs and having the stress of living a 4.0 life isn’t likely to produce a happy, meaningful life.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world is the pressure to be perfect not working for you or others?

In what current situations is good enough good enough?