Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“Nothing has more strength than dire necessity.”

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“Nothing has more strength than dire necessity.”

—Euripides, classic Greek tragedian

Image from Unsplash by Vicky Sim

It is so sad that in order to see man at his best we often need a crisis to occur.

When lives are on the line, new levels of extraordinary courage and strength are found and mobilized.

Almost every newscast ends on positive notes of heroism, acknowledging this capacity in select individuals, hopefully to engender this quality within us all. In this way, our own strength and inner heroes are aroused to come to the rescue of those in our personal and professional communities who are in need.

What will happen when the dust settles on the pandemic and we get back to whatever “normal” may look like mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and economically?

How might we maintain our individual and collective strength when things are a bit less dire?

EXERCISE:

What new or greater capacities have you discovered in yourself and within your communities?

How can and will you expand and build on these to proactively better your individual and our collective world in the good and not so good times ahead?

Friday Review: Acceptance

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FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCEPTANCE

What is the hardest part of acceptance for you? Here are a few posts related to acceptance you may have missed.

 

“Accept this moment as if you had chosen it.”

 

 

 

 

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

 

 

 

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”

“What are you secretly working on today?”

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“What are you secretly working on today?”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Valery Sysoev

What do you dream or daydream about? What have you noticed about your wandering mind? Where does it go?

How much time do you spend shifting your focus from the matters at hand, seemingly pulled by invisible forces in new directions?

What would happen if you shifted your perspective to one in which dreaming and daydreaming were your job, and you took extra time and care to focus there more consistency?

Where might exercising your subconscious mind produce many wonderful and surprising benefits?

EXERCISE:

How might the practices of greater mindfulness and capturing these secret journeys in a notebook expand your efforts to work in new productive and meaningful ways?

Consider sharing these secret work efforts with a family member, friend, colleague, mentor or coach to gain additional social support. Of course, at this point it won’t be a secret any more.

“Look and you will find it – what is unsought will go undetected.”

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“Look and you will find it – what is unsought will go undetected.”

—Sophocles, ancient Greek tragedian

COVID-19 moved our cheese. What was familiar and predictable months ago was suddenly no longer so, and we’ve all felt the loss.

Although these various forms of loss cause much pain, we can all take a lesson from the mouse in the classic business book, Who Moved My Cheese? Going through its maze one day, taking its traditional route, the mouse did not find the cheese he expected. Noticing this, the little guy fairly quickly changed his route to seek his reward elsewhere.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the new ways that you and others in your communities have adapted, adjusted, and expanded your cheese-finding efforts? What new opportunities and possibilities have you discovered and realized?

Feel free to reply to this post with some approaches that are working for you.

“Taking care of yourself is an essential part of taking care of others. The healthier the tree, the better the fruit it can offer.”

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“Taking care of yourself is an essential part of taking care of others. The healthier the tree, the better the fruit it can offer.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Josh Hild

In his book, Give and Take, Adam Grant demonstrates that the Givers of the world are usually more successful and happier than Takers and Matchers.

He makes a critical distinction between the Selfless Giver and what he calls the Other-ish Giver.

His research proves that although very admirable, the Selfless Giver – who sacrifices themselves for others – comes up short on both success and life satisfaction.

It turns out that putting ones own mask on before assisting others is critical to supporting those we most wish to serve in our personal and professional communities.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life can and will you commit to taking far better care of yourself so that others you support can more abundantly share the sweet result of your generosity?

“Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.”

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“Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.”

–Stanislaw Jerzy Lec, 20th Century Polish Aphorist and Poet

Image from Unsplash by Sven Mieke

Among my top priorities is my daily video chat with my 93-year-old father. Marvin lives in an assisted living facility in Florida.

Over the past few months, the residents have been quarantined to their rooms, with very limited interactions except for meal and medication deliveries.

EXERCISE:

Who are the seniors and super-seniors in your life? How and in what way can you honor and experience the work of art they are?

Please consider replying to this post regarding how you and your families celebrate this beauty.

Friday Review: Self Discipline

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FRIDAY REVIEW: SELF-DISCIPLINE

When and in what ways do you demonstrate discipline? Here are a few self-discipline related posts you may have missed.

 

“A committee of one gets things done.”

 

 

 

 

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”

 

 

 

 

“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is easy to miss.”

“If we wait for tomorrow to be yesterday, we’ll wait forever.”

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“If we wait for tomorrow to be yesterday, we’ll wait forever.”

—Stephen St. Amant, Marketer, blogger, artist

Image from Unsplash by Aron Visuals

How does today compare to yesterday, last week, last month, or last year?

To what degree have you accepted that the past is history and the future a mystery?

What did the good old days look and feel like for you? To what extent is it possible to go back and actually recapture your happiest of yesterdays?

Where do and don’t you have control or considerable influence on what tomorrow may be?

EXERCISE:

What can and will you do today that will help realize the possibilities of many better tomorrows in your personal and professional communities?

What might it cost if you wait or hesitate?

“What is the part of yourself that you left behind to become the person you are today?”

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“What is the part of yourself that you left behind to become the person you are today?”

—Deborah Anacona, Founder of the MIT Leadership Center

Image from Pinterest

Imagine that you are a lobster that is not on the menu of some local restaurant.

You are swimming in the ocean, doing what lobsters do.

To get to be a two pound or larger crustacean, you had to molt many times. Over the years, you broke out of your shell due to your continuous growth.

What constraining or limiting factors did you have to leave behind to reach this point?

EXERCISE:

What parts of yourself will need to grow – and what parts must be shed – to become the person you will be tomorrow?

“On the other side of the door of uncertainty is a room of wisdom.”

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“On the other side of the door of uncertainty is a room of wisdom.”

—Chip Conley, American hospitality entrepreneur, author, and speaker

I recently reviewed Humble Inquiry by Edgar Schein. The subtitle is: The Gentle Art of Asking instead of Telling, which as a coach, had a great deal of appeal to me. Some key take-aways include:

  • Asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, and building a relationship on sincere interest in the other person.
  • When we tell instead of ask, we can sometimes offend or demean others.
  • Barriers to humble inquiry include status, rank, and the roles we play in our professional and personal communities.

We can all practice this important skill by slowing down, becoming more mindful and aware of our interactions and our surroundings.

EXERCISE:

Consider exploring Humble Inquiry – The Gentle Art of More Asking and Less Telling as a door to greater wisdom for yourself.