Tag Archives: Barry Demp

“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

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“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Amazon

Yesterday’s post was about reaching the point of diminishing returns and the heavy costs we often pay.

Perhaps the most often used strategy to lighten our loads is to just say NO. How often have you given this approach a go, and how did things work out?

One primary reason saying NO is so difficult is that we don’t wish to damage the relationship. When we don’t create boundaries and say NO, we often hurt ourselves and feel considerable resentment.

EXERCISE:

Here are some useful books you may explore to help you learn to say NO:
The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
The Power of No by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher
The Book of No by Susan Neuman
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades

 

At what point in your efforts do you experience the point of diminishing returns

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“At what point in your efforts do you experience the point of diminishing returns? When is enough enough?”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Suzi Kim

What is your profession? How many hours do you typically work each week?

Consider the career of an accountant: seven days and over 80 hours a week is often the norm for many of these folks this time of year.

What about other professions such as those in the medical field during Covid and significant staff shortages?

Maybe you are a homemaker or caregiver with young children or aging parents who also needs to be a breadwinner. If any of these situations sounds familiar, you have likely reached and exceeded the point of diminishing returns.

EXERCISE:

What are the costs to you and others when you consistently go beyond your limits?

What new or different strategies can you employ when enough is more than enough?

How do you prepare your mind and body for the task at hand

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How do you prepare your mind and body for the task at hand? Establishing simple repeatable rituals can help.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by TJ Dragotta

Are you a basketball fan? Did you watch any or all of the madness in March? If so, you are probably familiar with some of the pre-shot routines players use before each free throw. Close your eyes and picture the number of ball bounces, deep breaths, and other gestures of your favorite players.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you engage in simple repeatable rituals to help you remain calm, centered, and focused on the task at hand?

Consider looking at the example of others who perform at the highest levels and see what they do to be their best.

Friday Review: Learning

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Friday Review: Learning

How mindful are you of the things you are learning? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

 

 

 

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”

 

 

 

“Learning is a treasure whose keys are queries.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you need to learn quickly, learn from others

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“When you need to learn quickly, learn from others. When you need to learn deeply, learn from experience.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Shiromani Kant

In what areas of your life do you consider yourself highly competent or even masterful?

What were your developmental journeys like and how long did they take?

Who were your teachers, mentors, and coaches, and how much practice did you put in to reach your current level of proficiency?

A while ago, I took my car to the shop for its annual inspection. After several hours and several hundred dollars, I was out the door with a new window sticker of approval. A few weeks later when I was out of town, the yellow manufacturer maintenance light popped on.

Knowing I was good to go, I looked up a You Tube video and three minutes later that pesky light was gone.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that help your learn things quickly?

Where do you need to put certain lessons into practice over time to develop the deeper mastery you desire?

Your secret weapon is the patient execution of what everyone knows they should be doing.

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“Your secret weapon is the patient execution of what everyone knows they should be doing.”

—Rich Litvin, co-author of The Prosperous Coach

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

Secret weapons are the stuff of superheroes and blockbuster movies.

Whether you are a Marvel or DC fan, watching the good guys fight the bad guys on screen or even in a comic book always grabs our attention. Yet — as far as I know — there are no superheroes with patient execution as their secret weapon.

A two-hour film is not the venue to reveal how their secret to success is longer time intervals. We want things big and bold, or we simply go home.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life could patient execution be the secret weapon you need to achieve your most important goals?

What simple actions will you take today to build the momentum to be your own superhero?

Empower me to exercise the authority of honesty

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“Empower me to exercise the authority of honesty, and be a participant in the difficult ordinariness of now.”

—Ted Loder, Retired Methodist Minister

Image from Unsplash by Marek Studzinski

Before putting pen to paper, I read today’s quote a few dozen times to grasp its depth and significance. After exploring it in detail, I asked myself three questions:

  1. Who is doing the empowering?
  2. How can I better exercise the authority of honesty in my daily efforts?
  3. Where am I a full participant in the difficult ordinariness of now?

EXERCISE:

How can you apply the wisdom of this quote and strengthen your capacity to live a happier, more fulfilling life?

Feel free to reply to this post with your thoughts.

It is perfectly OK to enjoy familiar things over and over

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It is perfectly OK to enjoy familiar things over and over. Tasting the same fruit twice can be very nice.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Julian Hochgesang

Wendy and I recently returned to Pennsylvania from my first “snow bird” season in Florida. Although I very much enjoyed the sunshine and warmth of our surroundings and the friendships we created, there is something about coming home to what’s most familiar that feels extra nice.

Things that we sometimes overlooked took on a familiar feel much like a favorite pair of warm, cozy pajamas before slipping into our extra cool sheets, given the temperature difference.

EXERCISE:

Where and how do you take extra pleasure in the familiar aspects of your life?

Which of the fruits of your world help you feel most at home?

If there was no money, and everything depended on your moral standards

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“If there was no money, and everything depended on your moral standards, the way that you behave, and the way you treated people, how would you be doing in life?”

—Tupac Shakur, 20th Century American rapper and actor

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spike

Money and possessions are a primary way many of us measure our success and status.

Who are the people at the top in your various professional and personal communities?

What are their extrinsic and intrinsic measures of excellence and achievement?

How do you measure yourself against these people?

How often do you use good character and high moral standards as benchmarks for a meaningful life?

EXERCISE:

If you were to eliminate all external evidence of success how well would you be doing?

Create a list of 5-10 people in your life that model the moral standards and behaviors you most admire.

Do your best to spend additional time with these folks and let their example help you up your game.