Category Archives: Choices

Everything you Think

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“Don’t believe everything you think.”

—Allan Lokos, founder of the Community Meditation Center in New York City

Photo from Flickr by Karen Neoh

Photo from Flickr by Karen Neoh

I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase, “Don’t believe everything you hear.” Over the years, most of us have learned to take much of what we hear or read with the proverbial grain of salt.

At some point however, we decide what we are going to internalize and cement within us as truth. This choosing, whether intentional or perhaps mostly unconscious, can be useful and at the same time, limiting. Usually, these thoughts help us navigate our world efficiently and effectively, supporting a form of life momentum.

Alternatively, sometimes our thinking simply doesn’t work or serve us in certain situations.

EXERCISE:

Take out a piece of paper or Post-it Note, and write the following questions:

  • How does my current thinking help or hurt this situation?
  • What alternative thoughts would generate even more work-ability?

If you have been reading The Quotable Coach series for some time, you may know that Edward DeBono’s The Six Thinking Hats is a resource I refer to frequently.

“Don’t step over dollars to pick up a dime.”

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“Don’t step over dollars to pick up a dime.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Chaval Brasil

Photo from Flickr by Chaval Brasil

Imagine you are in a room and suddenly a shower of money in all denominations falls from the ceiling. You happen to have an umbrella and open it quickly to avoid the downpour of coins clunking you on the head.

The financial storm comes to a halt after a few minutes, and you are given the challenge of picking up as much money as possible in a single minute, using only your hands. What strategy would you use to maximize your payoff?

My guess is that you would leave the coins where they lay and gather up as many bills as you could.

EXERCISE:

What activities do you step over daily, in order to pick up or pursue the lower value, “shiny objects” that take up a considerable portion of your day? How can you pass up the dimes of life and go for the dollars that can make life even more worthwhile?

Easy Street

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“Easy Street is a blind alley.”

—Author Unknown

QC #981c

Are you always looking for the path of least resistance and the easy way to navigate your world?

If so, you may have noticed a drawback from such a strategy. Consider people who don’t exercise and live sedentary lives. What do you notice about their relative health, well-being, and overall vitality?

Coaching is all about helping people stretch and push beyond their physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes their spiritual limits to open up bright new vistas of professional and personal possibilities and achievement.

EXERCISE:

How can you take a more challenging “road less traveled” today, to strengthen your capacity to clearly see and realize an extraordinary life?

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up…”

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“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.”

– Author Unknown

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Virtually everyone entering a coaching relationship desires a new and better future, and finds it difficult to achieve their goals on their own, or wants to speed up the process.

Often, through coaching, they discover internal and external barriers that limit or block their success. External barriers can include critical personal or professional relationships that don’t support the journey, and those that sabotage or stop the progress altogether.

EXERCISE:

Take a moment to consider if there are people in your life that need to be let off your “life elevator.” How can you take this important step and do it courteously and respectfully?

“The trouble is you think you have time.”

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“The trouble is you think you have time.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Moyan Brenn

Photo from Flickr by Moyan Brenn

It is a proven fact that as we age, we perceive time as moving faster.

In our youth, there was plenty of time to complete everything on our bucket list. Today, that list may seem unrealistic, overwhelming, and even act a source of discouragement or sadness.

If someone told you precisely how much time you had left in days, weeks, months, years, or hopefully, decades, what different choices might you make as you spend your life currency?

EXERCISE:

How can you begin today to live even more fully and authentically to squeeze all the juice possible from the precious time given to you? Who do you want to accompany you on this wonderful, yet finite journey?

Choice Not Chance

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“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”

– Jean Nidetch, co-founder of Weight Watchers

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A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to see Lisa Nichols speak at a coaching conference. Lisa first came to the attention of the personal development world when she was featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show, due to her involvement in the movie “The Secret” that focused on the Law of Attraction.

Her inspirational journey from poverty to running her own public company was a result of her many courageous choices along the way.

Please check out Lisa at her website www.motivatingthemasses.com. You can see her appearance on Oprah here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zuW_tEbz1Y

Exercise:

Where can you use your own power of choice, not chance, to help determine your professional and personal destiny?

“Words empty as the wind are best left unsaid.”

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“Words empty as the wind are best left unsaid.”

– Homer, Greek poet

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Image from Flickr by goldberg

To say that we live in an over-communicated world is an understatement. Homer, who lived around the eighth century BC, suggests through this quote that some words are full of value while others are empty and worthless.

If you had to pay the people you met and spoke with today for the value of what they shared, what would that value be? Take a moment to review some of these interactions to assess their worth. Which were of least or even negative value, and would have been better left unsaid?

Exercise:

Consider your communication with others in your world. How often are you sharing pearls of wisdom and value? How often should your inner thoughts be left unsaid? Imagine the impact on the world if everyone did this.

“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

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“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

— D. Ernest Green

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I spend a considerable amount of time developing each client’s awareness of their inner voice. Sometimes this voice shows up as a judge or a critic when it is directed toward others or as a gremlin when it is directed inward.

The problem comes when this inner voice is not monitored for potential damage and is put on external speaker.

Exercise:

Today and over the next week, take particular note of when your inner voice is judgmental or critical. Ask yourself, if I put these thoughts out there, will it forward the situation or simply make me feel justified and right?

When your inner gremlin’s voice is directed toward yourself, the damage is done without uttering a word. In this case you need to catch the critical words in the formulation stage and reframe them to do no harm – or perhaps even to empower yourself in a positive direction.

Choose yourself

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“Choose yourself.”

– Seth Godin, author and entrepreneur

In recent months, I have met with numerous executives to explore next steps regarding their career advancement. Two of the most common options include advancement within their existing organization or creating an exit strategy to pursue greener pastures with another company.

Unfortunately in some cases, the entryway into the C-suite may be blocked, or the phone simply doesn’t ring with those plum assignments. In some cases, even after considerable networking and outreach efforts, they have yet to be picked for the team.

Exercise:

Take out one of your business cards and turn it over to the blank side. Write your name then the title “President” or a title of your choosing just under it.

By choosing yourself, you virtually eliminate all the current internal barriers that may be stopping you. Now all you need to do is overcome the external constraints to play your own game and make your ideal career a reality.

“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”

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“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”

– Jean Nidetch, co-founder of Weight Watchers

It is surprising to learn the percentage of people who have clearly defined written goals for both their personal and professional life. Estimates are definitely in the single digits – with most hovering around three percent.

So many people have a “take it as it comes” attitude to life, and they may even believe that their destiny is already determined. Yet free will and our capacity to choose how we spend our days are simply fundamental to being human.

Exercise:

Take five minutes this morning to choose how you will spend your day. Select only those activities and people who fit best with your vision and values.

Take five minutes at the end of your day to reflect on what you learned, achieved and experienced.

Consider doing this exercise every day, or at least every week, if you like what you discovered. Feel free to email me at barry@dempcoaching.com to let me know if something wonderful happens.