Examine the contents, not the bottle

“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

—The Talmud, the central text of mainstream Judaism

Image of dusty wine bottles

Photo by Marco Mornati on Unsplash

We all know the adages, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Discover the beauty within.”

It is so much easier, though, to use first impressions to make quick decisions – and rarely do we ever get the full story. When this happens in our interactions with other people, we refer to these as shallow or superficial relationships.

Only when we look deeper can we fully grasp the full value and the potential that lies within others.

Exercise:

How would taking the time to examine the contents of another person’s character lead you to a more fulfilling life?

With whom in your worlds have you only scratched the surface?

The bad news is time flies

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”

– Michael Altshuler, motivational speaker

Image of a Pilot in front of his plane

Photo by Kora Xian on Unsplash

I recently attended a coaching conference where a speaker, Jim Selman, shared his work on the topic of aging. I was surprised to see just how significant and universal the subject was for the majority of conference participants – including myself.

What does it mean to age well? What has many of us pursue the fountain of youth, through everything from plastic surgery to the next wonder drug?

How can we transform our views on aging, to impact our lives in the areas of health, happiness, self-expression, meaningful relationships, and the overall desire for purpose?

Exercise:

How will you pilot your life, given your answer to the question above, to make the most of the precious time that you have?

#90: “Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.”

– Edward de Bono, doctor and author

Years ago, I read A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink. The premise of this book was based on the importance and value of right-brain/non-linear thinking. Pink pointed to some of the critical limiting factors related to left-brain or linear thinking: the value of this type of thinking has been decreased due to the advent of technology.

Exercise:

How much of your day do you spend on right-brain versus left-brain activities?

How can you break some of your established patterns and look at your world differently, to develop your creative mind?

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#89: “To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher

What does it mean to live a good hour? It could mean:

  • Being fully present to each person and fully engaged in each experience.
  • Living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or daydreaming solely of the future.
  • Living a life of meaning and purpose beyond your own concerns.
  • Being generous and sharing your special gifts and resources with others.
  • Learning and growing in some way each day, and sharing your knowledge and life experiences with others.

Exercise:

What does living a good hour include for you?

What next step will you take to move toward greater wisdom?

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#88: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

– Martin Luther King, Junior, Civil Rights leader

Coaches love questions. Digging for the answer provides great satisfaction. This one is a doozy. Martin Luther King Junior is considered by many one of the most inspirational leaders, and he spent his life with a dream. He put in a massive effort to serve others. He walked his talk.

Exercise:

What is your current answer to the question, “What are you doing for others?” What would you like your answer to be at the end of the day – and perhaps the end of your days?

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#87: “The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play…”

“… his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both.”

– James Michener, author

When I was a young boy, my dad used to tell me that I had to get all my work done before I could go out and play. At that time, work and play were definitely separated. One was hard and difficult; the other was fun and exciting.

When we see adults for whom this distinction does not exist, it helps us make a life-altering shift. Work and play can be one and the same.

Exercise:

How can you play at work and work at play?

What level of life satisfaction would be possible?

How can you be an inspiration to others to do the same?

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The Seeds You Plant

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”

– Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist and poet

image from Flickr by Andrew Shieh

image from Flickr by Andrew Shieh

Harvest time is only a small part of the growing season. My wife and I grew tomatoes last summer, and really enjoyed harvesting them at the end of August.

The process of growing them, though, was a bit more involved and time consuming than we expected. It included purchasing seeds, preparing the soil, watering, providing sunlight, adding plant food, watering, adding more plant food, more watering… you get the idea!

Exercise:

What seeds can you plant today? What care and attention will they need daily, so that you can have a successful harvest in the future?

Make sure you enjoy the process of gardening and not just the sweet fruits of life.

 

#85: “Hardening of the heart ages people faster than hardening of the arteries.”

– William James, psychologist and philosopher

Do you know anyone in your life who is a grumpy old man or woman? They don’t even need to be chronologically old – they simply act old by:

  • Looking for what’s wrong in things and others
  • Being skeptical and cynical
  • Being overly serious
  • Not smiling enough
  • Not looking for the beauty around them

Exercise:

To clear out your arteries and find your own fountain of youth, try:

  • Finding what’s right and what works
  • Being open and receptive to the thoughts and ideas of others
  • Working on building your funnybone and your sense of humor
  • Smiling and saying “thank you” more often
  • Creating a daily gratitude and/or beauty journal to begin seeing the world with a lighter heart

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#84: “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.”

– Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States

I like bargains and two-for-one sales. This quote is a three-for-one! In Ben Franklin’s time, the word “vices” perhaps meant “behaviors that do not better oneself or another.” Today, I suggest we consider the word “habits” instead.

The idea of being a better person points to our ability to learn, grow, and improve as individuals.

Exercise:

What habits/vices will you declare war upon? Which relationships in your life are ones where you will make a stand for peace? In what ways do you intend to be a better person next year, versus today?

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#83: “The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions…”

“…Our inner balance, and even our very existence, depends on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to our lives.”

– Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist

Watching the Olympic Games over the past couple of weeks has been a highlight of my summer. Beyond the gold medals and extraordinary human achievement, we all got to see some special human moments of great beauty and dignity.

Did you see them too?

  • Athletes showing tears of joy in respect and honor of their country’s national anthem
  • Athletes thanking a higher power for their gifts and achievements
  • Athletes honoring their team-mates and competitors
  • The world coming together in peace to celebrate the human spirit

Exercise:

How can you bring your highest moral values and actions to each day and to those people around you, to experience greater beauty, balance and dignity in your life?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.