Live as if you were living a second time

Posted on June 29, 2023 by Barry

“Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.”

—Victor Frankl, late Jewish-Austrian holocaust survivor and psychiatrist

Image from Unsplash by Robert Ruggiero

For the weekend or occasional golfer, a mulligan is something many players covet.

It’s an opportunity, usually on both the front and back 9’s, to have a do-over on a whiff or missed hit that could sink a decent round. Even if it is never used by a player, they sure appreciate the fact that it’s there just in case.

We all experience many errant shots in life where things go out of bounds and miss their targets. These events often cascade into negative spirals of thinking, and we give up too soon.

EXERCISE:

Give yourself another chance to do better with your next shot. With this personal permission and practice, don’t be surprised if you start shooting some of the best scores of your life.

Adults need recess too

Posted on June 28, 2023 by Barry

“Adults need recess too.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Proxyclick Visitor Management System

On most weekday, I get to have recess with my friends between 2 and 3 p.m..

We all enjoy playing table tennis, which gives us a chance to kick back, catch up, and of course, compete.

In years past, I always considered play as an unnecessary indulgence and something you only do when all the work was done.

Sadly, for most of us, it never is.

This attitude has made me a pretty serious guy and a bit of a fuddy-duddy. All work and no play definitely made me pretty dull and telling me to lighten up definitely didn’t work.
Thank goodness for the coaching I’ve received from my grandchildren over the years. As a pop-pop with a bit of extra time, I have been able to ease off the gas pedal of work and see play as a critical part of a full and happy life.

EXERCISE:

How often do you take the time to play and have fun?

What activities feel like recess for you?

How can and will you make these pursuits a more integral part of your life?

“It’s break time for your problem-solving mind.”

Posted on June 27, 2023 by Barry

“It’s break time for your problem-solving mind.”

—Jeff Warren, author of The Head Trip: Adventures on the Wheel of Consciousness

Image from Amazon

When do you have the most focus and ability to concentrate in a typical day? What duration of time is optimal before you begin losing this edge? How often do you press on beyond this noticeable decline in effectiveness?

In much the same way our bodies need to rest, renew, and recharge from physical exertion, our minds need periodic breaks to do the same.

Reading is a good example. How long is it before you start rereading the same sentence or need to go back a paragraph or two to comprehend and grasp various types of material?

One strategy that can be helpful is to switch between physical and mental activities to give the other capacity a break. At times when you are using both a total break may be the solution you’re looking for.

EXERCISE:

Do a google search on various productivity hacks. The Pomodoro Technique and the 20-Minute Rule are two approaches for your consideration.

Role models and mentors are flesh and blood representations of what is possible for you

Posted on June 26, 2023 by Barry

Role models and mentors are flesh and blood representations of what is possible for you. If they did what they did, you can too.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Eunice De Guzman

In the world of achievement there are plenty of examples of people who have been there and done that. We often view and imbue these people with super-human powers and abilities, and see ourselves as frail and flawed.

When we see people this way, we are almost always missing the full picture.

These individuals stumble and fall like the rest of us. They bleed, they have wounds and scars that often go hidden. What many of them do better and more often is pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and go at it again and again.

EXERCISE:

Interview some of the role models and mentors you’ve had over the years. Pay particular attention to how they managed various types of adversity to become the people you’ve come to respect and admire.

Friday Review: Honesty

Posted on June 23, 2023 by Barry

Friday Review: Honesty

Where and when is honesty most important to you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Empower me to exercise the authority of honesty, and be a participant in the difficult ordinariness of now.”

“I keep six honest serving men: (They taught me all I knew) Their names were Where and What and When and Why and How and Who.”

“Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.”

The best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory

Posted on June 22, 2023 by Barry

“The best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.”

—Mindy Kaling, American actress, comedian, screenwriter, and producer

Image from Unsplash by Surface

How familiar are you with the work of Carol Burnett? If you are a boomer like me, you made a point to never miss her variety show during her eleven-year run near the top of the TV ratings.

Her work was definitely family friendly, and I can vividly recall all of us crowding around our single TV to laugh together until our sides hurt.

A few weeks ago, Wendy and I got to relive many of these hilarious moments as a star-studded group of her friends got together to celebrated Carol’s 90th birthday.

The closing song on her show always began: I’m so glad we had this time together, just to have a laugh and sing a song……

EXERCISE:

Take a few minutes to recall some of your own laugh-filled memories. Note the people who shared these belly laughs and happy times and consider giving them a call to reminisce.

Sometimes I wrote things because I couldn’t say them

Posted on June 21, 2023 by Barry

“Sometimes I wrote things because I couldn’t say them…. couldn’t keep them bottled inside me.”

—Octavia E. Butler, 20th Century award-winning American science fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Bianca Stancescu

How often do you enjoy beverages with bubbles? Recall the sounds when each bottle is first opened and the audible fizz when you pour its contents into a glass.

Liquids under pressure are always waiting for us to release them.

What pressures are you experiencing these days?

How often do you internalize the stresses and strains of life and keep things bottled up?

EXERCISE:

How could keeping a journal or notebook help you express and release some of the strong feelings you keep bottled up?

How could talking with a trusted friend or family member help you release even more of this pressure?

Do not ask what it is. Let us go experience it

Posted on June 20, 2023 by Barry

“Do not ask what it is. Let us go experience it.”

—T.S. Elliot, one of the 20th century’s major poets

Image from Unsplash by Maria Oswalt

I tend to be a home body — I’m not into large events or running around to check things off my bucket list.

I do, however, go outside this comfort zone for the people closest to me — especially my children and grandchildren.

My daughter is constantly creating opportunities for her kids to experience new things. Being invited along for the ride, to watch the delight of our little ones, is definitely not to be missed!

EXERCISE:

How often do your find yourself living in your cave of comfort?

Where would FOMO be a good thing to get you off your seat and into the world you’ve been missing?

Alter your thinking about thinking

Posted on June 19, 2023 by Barry

Alter your thinking about thinking. Sometimes sitting with a question can expand your mind without always needing to find an answer.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Eugene Lagunov

A powerful question can act like a mind-altering substance. It can be a catalyst to help fire previously underused neurons and emit floods of neurotransmitters to help us think new thoughts.

Modifying our thinking on our own can be difficult. We are constantly bathing our minds with many of the same messages, 24/7. Consider relating this idea to Newton’s Law of Inertia which states: