Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations.”

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“They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations.”

—Sir Francis Bacon, 15th century British philosopher and statesman

Image from Unsplash by Marten Bjork

If time is the coin of life, how are you currently investing yours? A frequent coaching exercise for individuals who wish to master this elusive resource is a Time Log.

It begins by tracking professional and personal chunks of time in a log. The next step is evaluating not only where that time is spent, but also the level of satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness experienced.

Sadly, statistics point to well over 50% and up to almost 70% of people experiencing reluctance and significant dissatisfaction in their vocational efforts. Perhaps we need to shift from the idea of “that’s why it’s called work,” to a far more enjoyable and engaging perspective.

EXERCISE:

To what extent do you wake up with an “I don’t want to ____” view of your current job or career? How would pursuing a vocation that far better suites your nature provide a stronger foundation for a richer and happier life?

“If you can be happy with simple things, then it will be simple to be happy.”

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“If you can be happy with simple things, then it will be simple to be happy.”

—Neil Pasricha, The Happiness Equation

Barry, Wendy, and their family

Every summer when I was a kid I got to camp for two months at Indian Lake in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. I look upon those yearly adventures as some of the happiest times of my life. Our days were simple and always included friends, food, fun, and sun.

On July 1st, my daughter Rachel realized FaceTime was not sufficient. She decided to get a COVID test and bring our grandson Weston to Michigan for “Grandma and Pop Pop Camp.”

Guess what?

Family, food, fun and sun are still essential elements of many happy times over a half century later!

EXERCISE:

What are the essential elements—internal and external—of a full and happy life for you?

How and in what ways can you rediscover the happiness and joy in the simple things in life?

“Be grateful for people’s complaints. Turn a complaint into a question.”

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“Be grateful for people’s complaints. Turn a complaint into a question.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unslpash by Analia Baggiano

We all complain from time to time. I’m sure you see a bunch of whining and complaining within your various communities. How often do you think or even say some expletive aloud, to silence all the negativity?

Effective coaches and communicators know the value of questions, especially open-ended questions that can have the power of an “off” switch of negativity and an “on” switch of possibility.

Consider the following questions, and perhaps make up a few of your own:

  • How would you like things to be?
  • What could you do to improve the situation?
  • What ideas do you have to resolve this issue?
  • Where could you look for solutions to this challenge?
  • What alternative approaches can be taken to improve things?

EXERCISE:

How can you find more silver linings and gratitude in the complaints you currently experience?

How can the right question at the right moment be used to move your world forward today?

Friday Review: Storytelling

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FRIDAY REVIEW: STORYTELLING

What are the stories you tell yourself, and the ones you hear from others? Here are a few storytelling posts you may have missed.

 

“Stories can conquer fear, you know. They can make the heart bigger.”

 

 

 

“When I look back in five years, which of these options will make the best story?”

 

 

 

“Consumers don’t just want to understand the story. Increasingly they want to be part of it.”

 

 

 

“When demand exceeds capacity we experience stress.”

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“When demand exceeds capacity we experience stress.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unslash by Christian Erfurt

Where are you currently experiencing stress and observing it in others in your personal and professional communities?

Take a very close look at the demands placed on the individuals and the systems where stress is easily or not so easily seen. Take another look at the capacity and the resilience of the people and processes attempting to meet these demands and challenges. To what degree are they holding up, or not?

Although there is a type of stress called eustress that can be productive and support growth, when things go too far it can easily create the distress many of us are experiencing.

EXERCISE:

What actions can you take today to reduce demands or increase capacities to lower the levels of stress in your world?

Please reply to this post to describe your efforts and how things progress.

“Don’t go to war to maintain the past.”

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“Don’t go to war to maintain the past.”

—Seth Godin, American Author

Have you seen Hamilton? If not, you are in luck—Disney just paid a fortune for the rights to the show. It is now available on its streaming platform with the original cast.

Beneath the wonderful music, staging, and the extraordinary performances is the powerful story of the beginnings of our nation and how we went to war to become free and chart our own future.

The comical King George in the production went to war to hold on to the past, and obviously lost.

EXERCISE:

Where are you and others in your personal and professional communities still engaged in a war to maintain the past? What revolutionary ideas, efforts, and opportunities are worth fighting for to create your new future?

 

“Every great group is an island – but an island with a bridge to the mainland.”

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“Every great group is an island – but an island with a bridge to the mainland.”

—Warren Bennis & Patricia Ward, Organizing Genius

Image from Unsplash by Mohamed Thasneem

During my walk this morning the lyrics, “No man is an island, no man stands alone” ran through my mind. The topic of my daily meditation session was interconnectedness.

My daughter and grandson are visiting for the first time in almost six months. Belonging and being a part of our communities has clearly been disrupted and challenged recently, and most of us can feel a sense of emptiness longing to be filled.

Take a close look at all the groups to which you belong. How do they look today? Consider examining any or all of the following, and a few of your own:

• Family • Race
• Neighbors • Age
• City, State, Country • Religion/Faith
• Gender • Career

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you see, build, and cross the bridges between the numerous islands in your life, to find the fundamental mainland we all share?

“The feeling of being rushed saturates our entire way of life.”

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“The feeling of being rushed saturates our entire way of life.”

—Richard Carlson & Joseph Bailey, Slowing Down the Speed of Life

Image from Unsplash by Bad Betty X

What does it mean to be saturated?

What comes to mind for me is a skin care commercial touting some wonder cream, embracing every pore of one’s skin with moisture.

What if being rushed was more like a coat of paint that clogs every pore and does not allow us to breath, eventually suffocating us? Consider the scene in the James Bond film Goldfinger, in which one character was killed by being covered in gold.

EXERCISE:

To what degree and in what ways is rushing around saturating your life?

How and in what ways can you wash away these barriers today, to experience greater freedom, and breathe easier?

“We need something with permanence for us to rally around.”

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“We need something with permanence for us to rally around.”

—Simon Sinek, Author of The Infinite Game

Image from Amazon

To what degree are you playing the short game in your professional and personal life? Where are you observing this tendency in those around you and in society in general?

Where are you seeing a focus on making your numbers, winning the game, and immediate gratification causing all sorts of challenges that seem to separate us instead of bringing us together?

The Infinite Game, by Simon Sinek, challenges this short game perspective. He describes a reality far more conducive to our deep-seated human need to contribute to something bigger, as we also provide for ourselves and our families.

EXERCISE:

Where in your local, national, or global communities is it time to work together on a far more permanent long game, to realize a more unified and brighter future?

Consider taking a look at Simon Sinek’s Infinite Game YouTube presentation.