Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

The reason you have a neck is so that your head can remain above it all

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“The reason you have a neck is so that your head can remain above it all.”

—Tzvi Freeman, Canadian Rabbit and Author

Image from Unsplash by Joe Woods

Over the years, I’ve frequently discussed the value of making important decisions with our head, heart, and gut.

Approaching the anatomy of this, we can note how the head is above the heart and gut with our all-important neck in-between.

Our necks give our heads the ability to be above it all and turn from one path to another when the ones we are on are leading us astray.

EXERCISE:

What areas of your life are filled with others trying to bring you down?

How are these people operating in ways that go against your values and beliefs?

In what ways can you remain above it all to clearly see where to turn and how to proceed?

I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.

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“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.”

—Muhammad Ali, 20th Century American Boxer and activist

Image from Unsplash by Anastase Maragos

In the early years of my coaching career, I was fortunate to be selected for an amazing assignment — to coach the CEO of an exciting start-up tech company.

I was referred to this individual by another CEO I had been coaching for years, and who happened to be an angel investor in his organization.

Our relationship got off to a wobbly start and we needed a number of check-in sessions to sort out a few areas of misalignment.

The client, who was very direct, eventually told me that he wanted to “feel the burn” in our efforts, much like a personal trainer would do when working with their athletes.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life would feeling the burn and some pain from your efforts lead you to the gains you seek?

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy

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“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

—Marcel Proust, 20th Century French novelist

Image from Unsplash by CDC

A few weeks ago, Wendy and I watched our two terrific grandchildren so that my daughter and her husband could have a special night out for Valentine’s Day.

Following a logistically challenging dinner at a local restaurant, we began a bedtime routine in which it looked like things were never going to settle down! With teeth eventually brushed and matching Valentine PJs on, we began the ritual of a hopefully relaxing bedtime story, or two….

Instead of Pop Pop or Grandma reading the books, our 5 ½ year old grandson took the lead. His tender and loving approach with his petite 2 ½ year old sister settled things down and delighted everyone!

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that make you happy?

How do they act as charming gardeners who make your soul blossom?

Feel free to reply to this post with an example of your own and let its memory brighten your day.

There is value in thinking fast and slow. 

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There is value in thinking fast and slow.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Amazon

Where would allowing for uncertainty in your thinking help you arrive at better answers?

If you watch game shows you probably notice how important it is to think fast to beat the clock or your opponent.

In our day-to-day lives, making quick decisions can be useful in many achievement areas… until it isn’t.

Where has making snap decisions and acting on impulse gotten you in trouble or lead you down the wrong path?

Alternatively, where has being more mindful, evaluating decisions with your head, heart, and gut, led you to better outcomes?

Where has it been helpful to not be so certain and evaluate some personal or professional options through a more discerning method?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Thinking Fast and Slow by Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman and exploring the benefits of both approaches to help you improve your decision-making abilities.

Friday Review: Humor

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Friday Review: Humor

What makes you laugh? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Your worst humiliation is only someone else’s momentary entertainment.”

 

 

 

 

“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”

 

 

 

“Sometimes one likes foolish people for their folly, better than wise people for their wisdom.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

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Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mineragua Sparkling Water

To what degree do you race through your life?

Some ways to estimate your pace is to examine your driving habits or the time it takes to eat your meals.

Sometimes — if you are like many of us — you do both at the same time.

Driving fast and eating fast food are clearly not wise things to do.

If you have ever taken the Real Age test, you already know that these behaviors can reduce your biologic age to something below your chronological age.

EXERCISE:

Schedule a candlelit meal with your significant other.

Block out twice as much time as you usually do to sip and savor your meal and the time with this special person.

Where else in your life may you be missing the full flavors of life?

How could slowing down and drinking in more moments add more life to your years?

“We often work harder in our dreams than in our life.”

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“We often work harder in our dreams than in our life.”

—Mark Nepo, poet, teacher, and storyteller

Image from Unsplash by Hans Reniers

Although I don’t usually remember my dreams beyond the first minute or two after waking, I often find myself day-dreaming throughout the day.

When I watch others doing great things on TV or in my personal and professional communities, I often project myself into their efforts.

This form of wishful thinking and level of achievement is purely a mental exercise, and rarely if ever shows up in actual performance.

EXERCISE:

Where do you work harder in your dreams than in your life?

Where in your world is it time to give it your all and break a sweat?

What are your most restorative activities

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What are your most restorative activities?  How can you use them as natural remedies to pick you up or calm you down when needed?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jenny Hill

Meditation, exercise, and sleep are three of my most restorative activities.

Whenever I find myself a bit off my game or feel out of sorts, I go to these habitual activities to renew and restore my balance and well-being.

When meditating, the focus is often on the breath where the inhale picks you up and the exhale calms you down.

Knowing this is not enough.

It’s in the daily practice that we ingrain the capacity to routinely smooth out the rough edges of our lives.

EXERCISE:

What activities do you use to pick you up and calm you down throughout your day?

Consider exploring this subject with friends and family to expand your repertoire of options.

When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

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When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Rachael Gorjestani

How do you usually feel on Friday compared to Monday? If you have engaging plans for the weekend or have a career you enjoy, your answer is usually very positive for both scenarios.

What happens to many working folks on Sunday evenings if their jobs don’t exactly light them up?

The situations above are examples of positive and negative “Creative Tension,”  where the nature of the future has a significant effect on our moods and overall satisfaction with life.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you be more intentional with your life to use the power of “creative tension” to envision and realize more of your hopes and dreams?

Friday Review: Happiness

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Friday Review: Happiness

What people, things, and places define your level of happiness? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“As we grow older, real beauty travels from the face to the heart, appeal turns to charm, hurt to wisdom, and great moments to shared memories. The true beauty of life is not how happy you are now, but how happy others are because of you.”

 

 

 

 

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

 

 

“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”