Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

The purpose of education is to create in a person the ability to look at the world for himself, to make his own decisions

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“The purpose of education is to create in a person the ability to look at the world for himself, to make his own decisions.”

—James Baldwin, 20th Century American author

Image from Unsplash by Kyle Glenn

It’s pretty common at this point in the year for people to continue wishing each other a happy new year. I feel comfortable doing so even into early February.

As the days after the winter solstice become slightly longer and we pine for an early spring, many of us hope that 2023 will be a better and brighter year.

What were some of the most significant decisions you made in 2022?

How did they influence where you are today and the trajectory of the months ahead?

Perhaps it may be time to head back to school and expand your educational opportunities.

EXERCISE:

Instead of—or in additional to—formal schooling, please be sure to enroll in the “university of you.”

Consider creating your own personal and professional curriculum.

What would you like to learn? Who will be your teachers?

How might the lessons learned help you look more closely at the world and make even better decisions moving forward?

Become responsive to the solicitations of silence

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“Become responsive to the solicitations of silence.”

—Jean Klein, 20th Century French author and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Nick Fewings

I am writing this post in my favorite chair in my upstairs office, with only the sound of my furnace operating in the background. As it kicks off only occasionally due to the recent frigid temperatures, I can now hear the slight sound of the ceiling fan that circulates the warm air.

Although I very much enjoyed the busy holidays with family and friends, I also have a strong desire and need for solitude and silence to regroup and re-balance. These cycles of extroversion and introversion feel like the beating of my heart and the pace of my breathing during and after a workout.

EXERCISE:

How loud and noisy is your life?

How and when do you explore the sounds of silence to discover the hidden messages between notes?

Consider reading or re-reading Susan Cain’s wonderful book—Quiet—for some additional perspective on this topic.

When you receive criticism take a moment to pause

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When you receive criticism take a moment to pause. Let this time be a kind of speed bump to slow down and “try on” what is being said.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

No one likes to be criticized and judged. We like the way we are doing our lives and anyone who disapproves is clearly wrong!

Oops! What just happened? How can it be that we, too, may be just as critical of others, and they don’t care for it very much either?

What if instead of blocking this feedback and defending our positions, we simply paused to consider their perspective?

What would happen if we actually looked for the potential value in what was being said?

How might new ways of looking at ourselves create new opportunities for growth and self-improvement?

EXERCISE:

How would slowing down for the seemingly critical speed bumps offered by others make your travel through life smoother?

How might the ideas that are shared actually fit if you “try them on” for size?

If you still find them too tight, loose, itchy, or the wrong color, you can take them off.

Friday Review: Adventure

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Friday Review: Adventure

How adventurous are you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

Tap into a sense of pure possibility. What are your hopes and dreams?

 

 

 

 

The universe is infinite in all directions. Taking this cosmic approach with lightness and humor makes the trip far more wonderful.

 

 

 

 

“The Roller Coaster is my life…It’s mountaineering; It’s wanting to get to the very top of yourself.”

 

 

 

 

“The world is full of good people. If you can’t find one be one.”

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“The world is full of good people. If you can’t find one be one.”

—Mother Teresa

My dad, Martin Demp

In mid-December we had the unveiling of my father’s headstone. With the frigid temperatures at this time of year it was heartwarming to see the family and friends who showed up to honor this wonderful man.

As a person of few words, my dad let his actions set an example for the rest of us. By simply watching him in his roles of loyal son, husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, and friend we were all coached on how we, too, could lead a meaningful life.

EXERCISE:

Who are the good people in your personal and professional communities? In what ways are you living true to their good examples to be on their list if asked?

Out of moderation a pure happiness springs

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“Out of moderation a pure happiness springs.”

—Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, 17th Century German playwright, scientist, & statesman

Image from Unsplash by Aziz Acharki

Where did the concept of moderation go out the window over the holidays? Consider the following list and add some of your own:

  • Food and drink
  • Gift giving/spending money
  • Staying up late and missing out on sleep
  • Staying in bed and too much leisure
  • Excessive media consumption
  • Lack of physical activity

Where did getting out of balance present a cost that you regret? Where was the payoff worth it?

EXERCISE:

How and where might you pursue the happiness found in moderation as you settle into the rhythm of the new year?

Set sail! You’ll never know unless you go

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Set sail! You’ll never know unless you go. Explore the possibilities of today.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Andrew Ridley

Where are you headed today, this week, in the new year? Where are you planning to go, and what are you going to do along the way and once you get there?

Like Christopher Columbus and Magellan, how can and will you find new possibilities and potential by embracing the explorer within?

This all sounds exciting! However, many of us are anchored in our seemingly safe and comfortable harbors and rarely set sail toward new horizons.

One of my favorite TV shows is The Amazing Race, in which 12 teams of two travel the globe to experience new places and explore different cultures.

Although many roadblocks are built into their adventures, virtually all participants acknowledge the significant impact of going beyond their own limitations to realize far more of their potential.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can and will you set sail in this new year? What amazing adventures and opportunities might you discover beyond your own personal horizons?

Friday Review: Decisions

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Friday Review: Decisions

What decisions have you made regarding 2022? What about this new year? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

The Latin root of the word “decision” literally means “to cut.”

 

 

 

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”

 

 

 

 

“You should not decide until you have heard what both sides have to say.”

 

 

 

Children will not remember you for the materials things you provided

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“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”

—Richard L. Evans, 20th Century writer, producer, and announcer

Image from Unsplash by Ben Wicks

Do you have children or grandchildren? If your do, how many of them remember the gifts you gave them during the holidays last year?

To what degree do your little ones light up when you walk in the door empty handed but with arms wide open for some big hugs?

In what ways do you agree with the statement, ”The best things in life are not things”?  How do you show the people you care about the most that you cherish them?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading or re-reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Over the years, he has expanded his work to include books related to children, teenagers and other groups.

In all affairs, it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark

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“In all affairs, it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have taken for granted.”

—Bertrand Russell, 20th Century British Philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Jon Tyson

Did you do a year-in-review assessment for 2022?

If you did, where did you notice things not progressing as you had wished? You may have even noticed some areas regressing.

If this is the case, it may be because we keep doing and thinking the same things over and over since they worked reasonably well in the past.

So many things around us have changed in the past year. When we remain fundamentally the same, it’s not surprising that a good number of our efforts miss the mark.

Questioning our thinking and adapting our behaviors accordingly seems like a wiser strategy for the year ahead.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of life would a few more question marks help you break some of your personal patterns so that new worlds may emerge?