Tag Archives: change

Don’t just go with the flow

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“Don’t just go with the flow, take some dares through the rapids.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a person standing on a rickety wood bridge over rapids

Image from Unsplash by Benjamin Davies

If your life were a movie or TV show, how likely is it that it would be a blockbuster everyone talks about?

Mine would probably not be a big hit with most people. When I ask people who know me best to describe me, some words that pop up often include: dependable, disciplined, reliable, steady, cooperative, honest, loyal, and friendly.

Being a “Steady Eddie” has served me well, and I consider myself very happy with my reasonable, predictable life.

On the other hand, there are many displays in my office of my favorite quote: “When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.” This thought constantly reminds me to keep checking in to see where I am committed to something bigger, better, or just different from “going with the flow.” It’s at these times I periodically jump into the fast-moving or riskier waters of life, and go for it. It’s interesting to note that a high percentage of these times are associated with some of my most memorable and significant accomplishments.

EXERCISE:

What is one important area of your life in which it is time to jump into the rapids and be a bit more daring?

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged

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“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways you yourself have altered.”

Nelson Mandela, late President of South Africa

Image of an old school room

Image from Unsplash by Jeffrey Hamilton

When I was in college, I took an afternoon to go back to my elementary school in Philadelphia to visit some of the teachers who played an important role in my development and inspired me to always do my best and contribute to others.

As I walked the halls and entered each classroom, it seemed like everything had shrunk to half its size when I was a boy. I had a vivid sense of how I had grown in many ways, where I stood in bigger shoes to pursue my future path.

I was able to look my teachers in the eye as a young adult, and thank them for their contribution.

EXERCISE:

Select a handful of books that have been pivotal to your development over the years, and read at least one of them again.

I hope you will notice that while the words are the same, you are not, and that new lessons await the ever-evolving and expanding person you have become.

Consider reading a few more of your favorite books again, if you find value in this exercise.

Every Small Positive Change We Make in Ourselves

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“Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.”

—Alice Walker, Author of The Color Purple

Image of a man buttoning his suit jacket

Image from Unsplash by Hunters Race

Confidence is a quality most of my clients and the people I meet wish to increase. Although some may not always admit it, I’ve observed over time that most people have an inner critic that lessens their self-worth on many occasions.

For some reason, they often compare themselves to others and see big gaps, with others being far ahead of them. The leap to reach that level can often seem daunting or even impossible.

An alternative to giving up is the moment-to-moment and daily positive efforts for change we can all exercise. In doing so, we move closer to the future we see for ourselves – one step at a time.

EXERCISE:

Select one small positive change you wish to make in your personal or professional world, and stick with it for at least a week. Share your intention and specific action plan with others, so that you can be supported and reminded to stay on course.

If you continue this practice in the weeks, months, and years to come, I bet many of your friends and colleagues will admire the confidence they observe in you.

Progress is a nice word

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“Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator, and change has its enemies.”

—Robert F. Kennedy, 64th Attorney General of the United States of America

Immunity to Change book cover

Image from Amazon

Change or die.

What if you were given that choice?

For real.

What if it weren’t just rhetoric that confuses corporate performance, or life success in general, with life or death?

What if your physician said you had to make tough changes to the way you think and act, or your time would end soon?

Could you change?

The scientific studies in Alan Deutschman’s 2005 Fast Company article puts the odds at nine-to-one. That’s nine-to-one against you.

Progress involves leaving where you are to go to a better place ahead. It is a nice word, and does not appear to have much drama. It does, however, still involve change, and there are forces/enemies that slow it down or stop it on many occasions.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out the Fast Company article, or look into the book Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Kaskow Lahey for greater insights into this fascinating topic.

The first step towards getting somewhere

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“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

—J. Pierpont Morgan, 19th Century American Banker

Image of a hand with a large bandaid on the palm

Image from Unsplash by Brian Patrick Tagalog

Pain and pleasure are two of the greatest motivators to mobilize us all to take action. Whether it involves jerking our hand away from a hot stove or pursing our dreams, we get going pretty quickly.

For some reason, pain or negative life situations often win the battle over our desires, making less of an undesirable situation preferable to more of a good one.

Whatever your own experience may be on this issue, please look around at your personal and professional worlds to examine where staying where you are is completely unacceptable.

EXERCISE:

Decide today what first step you promise yourself to take to move away from the pain of being stuck where you are, to a better and perhaps more pleasurable future. Consider doing this exercise on a weekly basis and feel free to get back with me regarding your results.

Be yourself and the right people will love you

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“Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a smart phone showing no signal

Image from Wilson Amplifers

Did you know that in 2016 cell phone usage around the world was estimated at 62.9%? This number is expected to grow to almost 70% by 2019, when more than five billion people will be using them.

The numerous companies fighting for their share of this market all claim the best signals, widest coverage, and fastest speeds to attract more customers.

How often have you found yourself in a dead zone, with dropped calls and few or no bars on your screen? When that happens, most of us simply change our position, driving a bit further until we get back into signal range.

EXERCISE:

Instead of trying to connect with others by changing yourself, how could you boost your own authentic and powerful signal to attract the people who will love you?

Leave the familiar

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“Leave the familiar for a while. Change rooms in your mind for a day.”

—Hafiz, 14th Century Persian Poet

Image of a small boy walking on the beach

Image from Unsplash by Andre Mohamed

One of my favorite quotes is, “When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge,” by Tuli Kupferberg. In a nutshell, it points to a primary reason the coaching process works to support all kinds of professional and personal change initiatives.

Unfortunately, this can be quite difficult due to entrenched ways of thinking and acting that have become habituated over many years.

The good news, supported through today’s quote, is that we all can begin to grow and change by taking baby steps rather than quantum leaps, to better our worlds.

EXERCISE:

Experiment today by intentionally deviating from the familiar in your thoughts and actions. Please consider replying to this post regarding what occurs when you change things up a bit.

Speak with love and compassion

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“Speak to people with love and compassion, and you have the ability to create change in them.”

—Matt Valentine, founder of Buddhaimonia

Image of hands holding a map

Photo by Daniil Silantev on Unsplash

I feel very honored to be a business and personal coach. To kick-start each new relationship, I spend an entire day with my new client. This helps us establish a trusting and supportive partnership.

The level of transparency, openness, and connection that develops over time is often significant and meaningful to myself and to my clients.

There is very often a sincere caring and compassionate connection which mobilizes most clients to break habits and behavioral patterns to realize many sustainable changes they seek.

EXERCISE:

How and where can you bring greater love and compassion to selected people in your communities, to enhance their ability to create lasting positive change in their lives?

Tomorrow Hopes We Have Learned Something from Yesterday

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“Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.”

—John Wayne, American film icon

Image of Past Present Future on a timeline

Image from SpaceSys

When you settle under the covers and reflect on your day, what factors bring you satisfaction and put a smile on your face? What represents a day well spent to you?

Most people would say learning something new, and making a positive contribution are keys to living a meaningful life.

EXERCISE:

What do you intend to learn and contribute today, to make for a much brighter tomorrow?

Make Sense Out of Change

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“Make sense out of change by plunging into it, moving with it, and joining in the dance.”

—Author Unknown

Image of boy diving from a boat

Image from Lakehouse Lifestyle

As we move through the stages of adult life, most of us become a bit more set in our ways. There is nothing particularly wrong with that. We often find comfort in our rituals, habits, and routines.

Without a direct invitation from us, however, the world increasingly knocks or, in some cases, pounds on our doors, bringing all kinds of change into our personal and professional worlds.

What if, instead of bolting our doors or barricading ourselves into our comfortable worlds, we opened ourselves to more opportunities and adventures by moving, plunging and dancing with these changes?

EXERCISE:

Where would a more open, welcoming, “try it on” approach to the changes around you make the biggest, most positive difference? Consider opening this door, or better yet, stepping right out there and joining the dance!