Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

—William S. Burroughs, 20th Century American writer and visual artist

Image from Unsplash by Drew Coffman

Many people treat life decisions like a game show.

When posed with a critical question, they feel that they must buzz in with an immediate answer. If these answers aren’t instantly available, they often give up and move on to some easier ones.

Rarely does operating this way result in any significant insight or growth.

Taking our time and patiently wrestling with our more challenging issues is a proven method of building our mental muscles and resilience.

EXERCISE:

Where would a more relaxed and patient approach to life’s questions offer you more and better answers to the significant issues facing you?

Tend to the small things. More people are defeated by blisters than mountains

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“Tend to the small things. More people are defeated by blisters than mountains.”

—Kevin Kelly, Founding Executive of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Alexander Grey

How often do you make mountains out of molehills?

Where do you tend to overreact or exaggerate the severity of a situation and get stopped in your tracks?

Obstacles in life are as predictable as taking our next breath. Unfortunately, many occur like an elephant sitting on our chest and we panic before we can take our next step.

How would a more measured and objective view of your current challenges help you step over and climb the hurdles facing you?

Remember: All mountain climbers experience blisters.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are you making mountains out of molehills?

What small things can and will you tend to today to get over these humps?

Loosen your grip on Life

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Loosen your grip on life. Sometimes we need to let things work themselves out in their own time and in their own way.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mick Haupt

Are you a golfer or have taken a lesson or two before deciding it may not be the sport for you?

If so, you might have begun your efforts holding the club with a death grip and swung with all your might.

This approach never works and we eventually learn that a more flexible and looser grip is the way to go.

EXERCISE:

On what life matters are you gripping too tightly?

Where would a more relaxed and flexible approach help you perform better and enjoy more strolls along life’s fairways?

Friday Review: Nature

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Friday Review: Nature

How often do you enjoy the beauty and bounty of nature? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Go outside. There is bliss in the silent expanse of nature.”

 

 

“See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream, or the waft of a lazy breeze.”

 

 

 

“Without jumping off its perch, the bird would never fly.”

 

 

 

 

It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers

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“It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers slowly over time by doing what’s right.”

—Charlie Munger, late American businessman and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by krakenimages

In the early years of my coaching career most of my time was spent networking and pursuing various business development activities.

Back then the world saw coaching as an activity only related to sports. The idea of a business or life coach seemed weird and a bit too far out to be widely accepted.

To capture my efforts, I used a customer relationship management software called ACT and LinkedIn to keep track of things.

In numerous cases it took years of steady and consistent effort and doing things right to build the necessary trust to eventually establish the partnerships to move forward.

EXERCISE:

What is an example of a relationship you created over time that was built on integrity and doing things right?

Please  email me at barry@dempcoaching.com if you would like copies of my Masterful Networking and Masterful Relationships workbooks.

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch

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“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.”

—Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur and author

Image from Unsplash by Kym Ellis

What is your favorite sporting event, reality TV show, social media feed, or other activity in which you watch others doing cool things?

Notice your level of engagement in seeing others stepping out and taking risks while you observe behind a screen or sit in the stands.

We do these things because they are pleasurable and safe at the same time.

We get to experience the thrill of victory with little or no real agony of defeat.

When — across your years — did you do something remarkable that others envied?

What did it take for you to jump into the deep end and what was it like to feel the exhilaration and excitement of these activities first hand?

EXERCISE:

Where have you pulled back and stepped away from experiencing the rewards associated with taking risks?

Where can and will you jump in again to feel the rush of being back in the game?

Failure is your partner in growth

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“Failure is your partner in growth, it doesn’t define you, it refines you.”

—Jon Gordon, bestselling author and keynote speaker

Image from Unsplash by theblowup

I recently watched the documentary Mission Joy—Finding Happiness in a Troubled World, which highlights a visit between his holiness the Dalai Lama and archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Although their faiths and spiritual backgrounds of Buddhism and Christianity seem worlds apart, their life journeys involved numerous similarities.

In this carefully crafted set of interviews from their meeting in 2015, they each pointed to the critical role significant hardships and setbacks defined and refined their lives.

EXERCISE:

I hope you will explore the official movie trailer and choose to watch the film in its entirety. The humor and wisdom of these two beloved icons offers many more nuggets for finding happiness in these troubled times.

Summon your best intentions like arrows from your heart

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Summon your best intentions like arrows from your heart and let them fly into your days.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Amazon

Living with intention is described as a way of living consciously and deliberately according to one’s passions, purpose, goals, and values.

It can include simplifying your environment, engaging in mental and physical practices, and choosing where to invest your time and energy.

Today’s reflection points to our hearts as the source of their power. It is still up to us to aim them, pull back our life bows, and let them fly.

EXERCISE:

It has been over 20 years since Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book The Power of Intention was published. Consider reading or re-reading this classic and learn some of the enduring lessons of co-creating your world your way.

 

Friday Review: MASTERY

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Friday Review: MASTERY

How do you define and acknowledge mastery in yourself and others? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.”

 

 

 

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”

 

 

 

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness…”

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“An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness. No reward…”

—Maurice Maeterlinck, 20th Century Belgian playwright, poet, and essayist

Image from Unsplash by Helena Lopes

FULL QUOTE: “An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness. No reward coming after the event can compare with the sweet reward that went with it.”

To what degree is the phrase “It is better to give than receive” true for you?

Take a close look at the acts of goodness you have offered others over the years. How does this trip down memory lane bring a smile to your face and a warm feeling in your heart?

Of course, it is always nice to reap the benefits of reciprocity, but this is not always offered and, in most cases given today’s quote, not needed. How might the simple act of supporting and serving others be more than enough to be happy?

EXERCISE:

Who are some of the happiest people you know?

How often do you notice their act of goodness as a source of their happiness?

What lessons can and will you take from their examples?