Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Good things come to those who wait

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“Good things come to those who wait — and work, and sacrifice, and maybe even suffer.”

—Arthur C. Brooks, American social scientist, musician, and columnist

Image from Unsplash by Levi Meir Clancy

To what degree does today’s quote resonate with you?  Consider taking a closer look into your experiences of waiting, working, sacrificing, and suffering.

How much good has come to you through these attributes? How have these aspects of life influenced your values and shaped your character?

To what extent did you recognize beforehand that much good was on the other side during these challenging times?

How, with this hindsight, can you view and experience current and future difficulties to glean the lessons and value they offer far sooner?

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional worlds can you acknowledge and embrace that many of the best things in life are worth the squeeze?

Before you try to increase your willpower

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“Before you try to increase your willpower, try decreasing the friction in your environment.”

—James Clear, Writer, Entrepreneur and Behavior Science Expert

Image from Unsplash by Sandeep Singh

In any new coaching engagement, it is very helpful to examine the personal, social, and structural supports that are already in place.

Better outcomes are unlikely without a significant degree of motivation, ability, and willpower.

Having the social support of friends, family, and colleagues provides both encouragement and accountability.

Structural support is often trickier in that environmental cues already in place often trigger old, entrenched habits that do not serve new behaviors and better results.

EXERCISE:

Explore James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits for more ideas on this subject, and his 1-2-3 Newsletter to get you thinking differently to create better results in many areas of life.

I also recommend the book Influencer — The Power to Change Anything for other strategies to decrease the friction in our environments.

You have plenty of free time

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You have plenty of free time. You just need to find where it is hiding.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Annie Spratt

What if time were like an Easter egg hunt? What if you could find an extra thirty minutes — or even an hour — with each extra egg you found? Consider going on an imaginary hunt in your mind and add the extra time to your base of 24 hours. With four extra eggs you could suddenly have 26 to 28 hours to work with and navigate your days with greater wiggle room. How would you spend it?

Of course, the rotation of the earth is not going to slow down any time soon. It’s clearly up to us to become better hunters to discover where pockets of time are hiding — often in plain sight.

EXERCISE:

To determine where your actual time is being spent, consider using a time log for the next few days. You can find a copy of this exercise in my Time Management Strategies and Tactics workbook, along with other tools to help you manage your time and energy.

As you apply these tools, please also consider the filtering words More, Less, Start, and Stop as guides to reallocate this hidden resource.

“I wish getting along with people was as simple as enjoying their food.”

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“I wish getting along with people was as simple as enjoying their food.”

—Valerie Bertinelli, Award-winning American actress

Image from Unsplash by Mae Mu

Consider the importance of food in your life. Chow down on this topic to examine how much it influences us beyond providing the nutrients to keep us alive.

How does food compare to the other essentials of water and air? What are the sensory experiences of each and how much pleasure and enjoyment do they offer? Food — and our rituals around it — provide us so much more than fulfilling a biologic need.

Although we sometimes find ourselves standing at the fridge eating alone, we most often seek out the company of others to deepen our bonds and create community. It is these bonds that we all need desperately to truly thrive.

EXERCISE:

When was the last time you attended a pot luck dinner where everyone brought a favorite dish to share? Consider hosting such a gathering in the coming weeks. I hope you enjoy many delicious dishes and the people that brought them!

 

“Your thoughts are bubbles waiting to be popped.”

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“Your thoughts are bubbles waiting to be popped.”

—Jon Kabat-Zinn, American professor emeritus of medicine

Image from Unsplash by Alex Alvarez

The other day I was refilling a soap dispenser at the kitchen sink. While pouring the liquid soap carefully into the opening a bubble formed, creating a dome-shaped barrier which caused the soap to spill over the counter. Until this bubble popped my efforts to continue filling the dispenser were thwarted. This happened a few times and given my level of impatience, I used my finger to pop these bubbles to get on with my task.

This routine chore got me thinking about how I used to read the comic strips in the Sunday paper, or eat a piece of Bubble Yum gum in my youth. How are your thoughts like bubbles of awareness? How long do these bubbles last and guide you successfully through your days?

EXERCISE:

How aware are you of your inner voice?  How many of your thoughts bubble up without your awareness? Where would greater mindfulness help you sustain the bubbles you want and pop the ones that don’t serve your best intentions?

“Look to greater minds than our own.”

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“Look to greater minds than our own.”

—Arthur C. Brooks, faculty member of the Harvard Business School

Image from Unsplash by jeshoots.com

What were your favorite subjects in school? In what areas did you excel and demonstrate significant mastery as you grew up? Who were the teachers, mentors, coaches, and family members who guided and supported your development? What resources guided them before they were there for you?

How fortunate we are these days that so much knowledge is available at the touch of a few buttons or keystrokes. How exciting it is that we are only moments away from tapping into the greatest minds of all time whenever we wish, and can stand on their shoulders if we choose.

EXERCISE:

To what extent have you taken full advantage of great minds to support your personal and professional efforts? Where and how can you, too, be a great mind to support future generations in the years ahead?

 We can be telescopes or microscopes

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We can be telescopes or microscopes. We sharpen the mind through focused attention.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jeff Nissen

Compared to other creatures in the animal kingdom our natural abilities to perceive our world can appear less than remarkable.

  • Dogs have 300 million scent-seeking receptors compared to six million for humans.
  • Bats navigate in the absence of light by sending out ultrasounds and can analyze the signals that bounce back.
  • Spiders construct sensory nets where their webs can capture the slightest vibrations.
  • Snakes and other reptiles are sensitive to infrared.
  • Bees and many birds are sensitive to ultraviolet.

Fortunately, we humans have a solid mix of sensory abilities and the wonderful capacity to expand them through the development of amazing technological innovations.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you use your mind and focused attention to expand your perceptional abilities and interact more successfully with the world around you?

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.”

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“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.”

—William Blake, 19th Century English poet

Image from Unsplash by Kim Turk

How thankful have your felt lately? What are the things you appreciate the most? Try rattling off a list or 10 or even 20 items that come to mind.

Did you have clean water and clean air on your list? How about nutritious food in adequate amounts?  What about having shelter and people who care about you?

Dig a little deeper into your list-making effort to determine your essentials. Notice your level of gratitude for the things many people don’t have or live in fear of going without.

It is puzzling to note many of us focus on what’s missing and our wants for more instead of being truly thankful for what we already have in great abundance.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you be a far more thankful receiver?

Where and with whom could you be a more generous giver to support others in having a more plentiful harvest?

“Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides.”

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“Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides.”

—Rita Mae Brown, American feminist writer

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

I have just finished reading the book Fundamentals — Ten Keys to Reality by Frank Wilczek.  Frank is a former winner of the Nobel Prize for physics and more recently was awarded the Templeton Prize.

As a former science teacher, I was drawn to this book to better help me understand how our universe works and how we as human beings fit into the big picture.

Examining the universe within each of us and our relationships to one another is at least as intriguing as the world of particles and forces that shape our world.

In many ways, it is even more challenging because there is no mathematical wizardry to describe them.

EXERCISE:

Where is the force of language exerting a pull on your personal tides?  How can you use it as a renewable energy source to power your life?