Tag Archives: Barry Demp

From the Inside

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“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.”

– Jim Kwik, learning expert

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

In many ways, the coaching process can be compared to helping individuals or organizations come out of their shells.

Just as a bird forces itself to emerge from its shell, the coaching process, with its powerful questions, taps into the power of people’s commitments to help them break free of the confines of their own limits.

Exercise:

Select one area of your life today where you plan to break out of your current constraints, to spread your wings and fly.

Press reply and let me know what happens.

“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

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“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

– Tony Robbins, motivational speaker

Image of apples in a row with faces from happy to sad

Image from SurveyRock

How satisfied are you with your life? Rate each key area on a 1 – 10 scale with 10 being absolutely delighted. Now take a look at the life satisfaction levels of your peer group. What you will likely find is that your own satisfaction is a bit higher than most – maybe even the highest.

In such cases, if you wish to propel (or in this case pull) your life even further forward, you may need to explore moving beyond your current peer group. As in certain sports, we don’t tend to get much better if we continue to play competitors at the same level.

Exercise:

Explore the possibility that you have outgrown certain relationships that may be holding you back.

Take the steps necessary to respectfully and gracefully move your life forward by finding some new peers that will more fully support your growth.

learn from the mistakes of others

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 “We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don’t have time to make them all ourselves.”

– Groucho Marx, comedian

A few weeks ago, I was watching a video interview of Rich Roll by Jonathan Fields as part of his Good Life Project. Roll is a top Ultra-man competitor who is considered one of the fittest men in the world.

It wasn’t always this way. In his earlier life, Rich was a drug addict and alcoholic. Through his own story and miraculous turn around, he has inspired thousands of people to pursue greater health and vitality through dramatic dietary changes and intensive exercise.

Exercise:

Examine the lives of people you know personally and professionally to see what lessons you could use to live a more fulfilling life. What positive behaviors will you emulate and which mistakes will you definitely avoid?

The war between optimists and pessimists

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 “The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist sees the wound underneath the scar.”

– Ernst Schroder, mathematician

The war between optimists and pessimists has raged since the beginning of time. Which camp are you in? For the purpose of this post, please don’t take the back door and choose “realist” – though I do appreciate you thinking outside the box!

It turns out that both strategies come in pretty handy, depending on the situation. Optimists tend to have a promotion focus on growth and advancement. Pessimists, on other hand, tend to be more focused on security and safety. Schroeder was probably an optimist, given the fact that a scar is a protective and healing phenomenon supporting new growth.

Exercise:

Where are you engaged in the rapid healing and growth from wounds you may recently have experienced?

Where are you still feeling the wounds of the past that should have fully healed by now?

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

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 “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

– Proverbial

Image of a red apple on a table

Photo by Michał Grosicki on Unsplash

The other day while I was at my health club, I noticed one of the personal trainers eating an apple. Perhaps because I have quotes on my mind all the time, I found myself saying this familiar phrase.

When I got to my office that day—after eating my daily apple—I decided to do a bit of research on this and found that apples:

  • Contain about five grams of soluble fiber, shown to reduce intestinal disorders such as diverticulitis and possibly some forms of cancer.
  • Contain pectin which can help to reduce cholesterol levels by lowering insulin secretions.
  • Can lower the risk of respiratory diseases such as asthma, if eaten regularly.
  • Are low in calories and packed with vitamins A, C, flavonoids, and as many as 12,000 other phytonutrients to support good health.
  • Apple cider vinegar has been shown to prevent the formation of kidney stones.

Exercise:

Consider going to your local market or specialty grocer, and go on an apple safari. Select at least five and perhaps up to a dozen different varieties – and do a taste test to see which you prefer.

Some of my favorites are:

  • Honeycrisp
  • Jazz
  • Fuji
  • Pink Lady
  • Granny Smith
  • Gala
  • Empire
  • Northern Spy

If a man does his best, what else is there

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“If a man does his best, what else is there?”

—George S. Patton, U.S. General in World War II

Image of a track starting line

Image from Unsplash by Kolleen Gladden

We live in a highly competitive society in which winning seems to be all that matters, in so many areas of our lives. Just look at sports, business, and even politics. However, if we examine how often any one individual or organization wins, we are often surprised at the modest or even low percentages.

This pursuit of winning and the pursuit of the perfect outcome leaves far too many of us falling short, often with negative views of ourselves and others.

Exercise:

Be your best self today and all this week, and use that as the only standard you measure yourself against.

Don’t be surprised by how great you feel, and by the considerable results you produce.

The Brains I can Borrow

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“I not only use the brains I have, I use all the brains I can borrow.”

– Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States

We have all heard the phrase, “two heads are better than one.” Research on this subject demonstrates this is a general truism in which there is a high degree of openness and communication regarding individual perspective and points of view.

However, in cases where this openness and collaborative communication is missing, or less than optimal, more brains can actually produce worse results.

Exercise:

Consider picking up a copy of Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats to support both your own individual and group collective thinking.

This is a great example of putting on your thinking cap (or hat). 😉

Reply to this message if you’d like a one-page summary of de Bono’s tool.

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

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“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

– Phyllis Diller, late American comedian

Image from Unsplash by Petr Sevcovic

I recently attended a seminar where the speaker suggested that using Google was a great idea catalyst. From my research on the importance of smiling, here are a few interesting facts I’d like to share:

Smiling…

  • Slows the heart rate and relaxes the body.
  • Releases endorphins and diminishes stress and improves our mood.
  • Must have been used by the Seven Dwarves to increase their productivity as they whistled while they worked.
  • Improves relationships by increasing trust and building empathy.
  • Makes us more appealing and attractive – yes, smiling makes us look younger.
  • Improves our immune system and lowers our blood pressure.
  • Conveys optimism and positivity that helps us be more successful.

Exercise:

How can you smile more and turn that frown upside down to improve your life and, as Phyllis Diller suggests, to set everything straight?

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

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“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

—Sir Francis Bacon, 15th Century English Philosopher

Image of an "ask questions" button

Image from killerinterventions

One crucial tool for most coaches, including myself, is the question. Below are some of my favorites:

  1. What results in life are essential for you to see yourself as a success?
  2. What qualities do you hope to expand or develop to be your best future self?
  3. What would you like people to say about you at the end of your life?
  4. What inspires you?
  5. What are you passionate about?

And of course… #6. What else?

Always ask “What else?” to help you layer into each question, to reach the full depth and rightness of your answers.

Exercise:

To reap the other half of wisdom, answer at least one of these questions today and others over the course of the coming week.

Share this exercise and your answers with those you care about in your personal and professional life.

Coach and support one another in living life each day consistently with your answers.

Swim With the Stream

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“Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time.”

– Linda Ellerbee, journalist

Image from fifteenminutescience.com

Image from fifteenminutescience.com

We have all heard phrases such as “Go with the flow” and “Take the path of least resistance” as ways to simply and effortlessly navigate life. When we take such advice, we are almost always carried along by factors not influenced or controlled by us, and we wind up somewhere we didn’t intend.

When we chart our own course and swim against the current, we strengthen our ability to navigate our own life’s journey and realize our deepest held desires.

Exercise:

Where in your personal and professional life are you being carried downstream by someone else’s current?

What issues have you come alive, so that you use your fins to swim upstream and realize your vision?