Tag Archives: The Quotable Coach

“Coasting only happens when …”

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“Coasting only happens when you are going downhill.”

—Mike Rayburn, one of the youngest inductees in the Speaker Hall of Fame

Photo from dimitri.co.uk

Photo from dimitri.co.uk

When was the last time you took a bike ride outdoors? Try to remember a specific ride with many hills. Close your eyes and visualize the effort and “burn” it took to climb the steepest and longest hills. Experience the relief of going over the crest, when you began coasting, allowing gravity to make your journey far easier.

EXERCISE:

Examine some of the current professional or personal hills you are on, or intend to climb. How will the pursuit of reaching the top make you even stronger for future challenges?

If you happen to notice that there are very few or no hills ahead, perhaps you are coasting, and headed downward. Make a point, once you have relaxed or recovered, to find the next hill worth climbing.

Primary Choices in Life

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“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

— Denis Waitley, American motivational speaker and writer

image from http://www.faithingyourblueprint.com

image from http://www.faithingyourblueprint.com

When I read today’s quote, I felt a bit troubled. Observing the world around me, I notice many people making a third, and yet very undesirable choice in life: the choice to be the victim. This is where individuals, organizations, and sometimes even nations, blame others for their current conditions.

Waitley points to two better choices for us to consider as we journey through our days. As the serenity prayer suggests, it is often helpful to simply accept those things we cannot control or influence, and of course, accept and take responsibility for those situations about which we can do something.

EXERCISE:

What choices are you currently making in your professional and personal life? Where would greater acceptance of your responsibility to change for the better make the biggest difference?

“Create a life that feels good on the inside…”

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“Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.”

-Author Unknown

image from positivelyaging.org

image from positivelyaging.org

Many years ago, when Saturday Night Live was in its first years, there was a funny series of skits portrayed by Billy Crystal, titled “Fernando’s Hideaway.” His signature line was “You Look Mah-velous!”

With not a hair out of place, Fernando always says “I would rather look good than feel good, you know?” In our society today, we can observe this “looking good” approach to life success through the material, or status trappings many people pursue.

Alternatively, there has been a very significant journey inward for many people, where greater health, wisdom, and spiritual growth are increasingly valued and pursued.

EXERCISE:

Explore and take one action today that would enhance your mental, emotional, or spiritual worlds. Consider making this exercise a daily habit, and don’t be surprised if this inner work makes you look better on the outside, because you will be wearing considerably more smiles.

“Be sure to taste your words…”

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“Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”

— Author Unknown

Image from behappy.me

Image from behappy.me

Did you know that there are professional tasters for wine, tea, beer, coffee, and even vodka? These discerning taste specialists are charged with evaluating flavors, aromas, and other general characteristics of beverages. Fundamental to the tasting process is actually spitting out most, if not all, of these liquids.

The words we utter throughout our days, too, have various qualities. How sweet, sour, salty, or bitter are the words you use in your professional and personal life?

EXERCISE:

How would taking more time to taste, and perhaps reformulate, your words before you spit them out into the world help you achieve the relationships and results you desire in life?

“You don’t protect your heart by…”

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“You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.”

— Author unknown

Image from abc.net.au

Image from abc.net.au

In my school days, I would often hear the phrase “Big boys don’t cry,” on the playground and in school. Being tough and strong were qualities associated with being a male in our society, even at an early age.

To achieve this outward persona, many boys began building shells—even fortresses—around themselves, so they could never be hurt, and never show what many considered the ultimate shame for a man: weakness.

Although this strategy may have provided some degree of protection against life’s bumps and bruises, it also imprisoned these boys in a world of limited connection. They were often removed from daily experiences of joy, happiness, and fulfilling relationships.

EXERCISE:

Should you see that you tend to use this strategy to protect your heart, take particular note of what it may be costing you as part of the fullest experience of life.

Consider reading the work of Brene Brown in such books as Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection, to move yourself to what she refers to as a “guide to a wholehearted life.”

“Old ways won’t open new doors.”

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“Old ways won’t open new doors.”

— Author Unknown

Image from cwfoa.com

Image from cwfoa.com

Prior to starting my coaching career many years ago, I held sales, advertising, and marketing roles with a well-known pharmaceutical company. For a two-year period I even had the opportunity to work with advertising agencies to promote our products. Without question, there was a single word that, if we could use it, would grab the greatest attention for our prospective customers. The word, “NEW!” always got people to raise their eyebrows and lean in to learn more about the product.

Today it is more important and urgent to remain fresh and relevant. Old ways of doing things are becoming extinct, and it is imperative to initiate and embrace new ways to open new doors to the future.

EXERCISE:

Where in either your personal or professional life is sticking with old ways of doing things limiting your success?

Select at least one new thing to do today that will open one door that is closing, or is completely shut.

“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.”

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“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.”

—George Santayana, Spanish philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist

Image from Flickr by Loren Kerns

Image from Flickr by Loren Kerns

Whenever I begin a new coaching relationship, I conduct a core values exercise, as part of my personal excellence training.

In this personal inquiry, the individual examines their most important priorities, beliefs, and commitments. Family is almost always on this list, if not among the top three.

Upon completion of our one-day training session, each client is encouraged to plan and initiate various projects for their professional and personal lives. One of my latest executive clients has named his current personal project “Home Sweet Home,” as he is now placing a much higher importance on his family.

EXERCISE:

Should the value of family be a top priority for you, please consider developing your own “Home Sweet Home” project with family members, and make this area of your life an even more beautiful masterpiece.

“You are no bigger than…”

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“You are no bigger than the things that annoy you.”

—Jerry Bunden

Photo from addconsults.com

Photo from addconsults.com

How big and expansive do you feel in your life at this moment?

How easy is it to breathe deeply and stand tall?

How much freedom, independence, self-expression, and self-determination is present in your personal and professional life?

During a typical coaching session, clients often reveal aspects of their current reality that annoy and upset them. When I observe them sharing their thoughts and feelings on these matters, they almost always demonstrate some form of physical constriction or limitation in stature and personal power.

It is not uncommon to have these people describe how much better they feel and actually look when they have worked through these matters in our coaching discussions.

EXERCISE:

Create a list of your top professional and personal annoyances. Examine their impact. How, through your own efforts or with the assistance of a friend, family member, mentor, or coach, could you gain greater freedom and effectiveness in these areas, to lead a more fulfilling life?

“Procrastination is the art…”

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“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

—Don Marquis, American humorist, journalist, and author

Image from connectedhotel.com

Image from connectedhotel.com

My father Marvin is a great teacher relative to today’s quote. One of the characteristics he demonstrates quite often, given his age and occasional forgetfulness, is what I call reverse procrastination. He has developed a “do it immediately” approach to many things.

The new habit can be surprising, because he often stops in the middle of one activity and starts another that has just come to mind. If he doesn’t do it when it comes to mind, he is likely to forget to do it at all. The up side of it is that he does remember to go back and finish the first activity!

EXERCISE:

Where do you fit on the procrastination continuum of “do it now,” or “it can wait for whenever”?

What adjustments are needed to make sure you are not simply keeping up with yesterday?

“Never look back unless…”

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“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”

—Henry David Thoreau, 19th Century American author, poet, philosopher

photo from www.yourperfectdaybyjess.com

photo from www.yourperfectdaybyjess.com

At this time of year a fair number of organizations schedule various forms of management meetings to discuss their current status and plan for the future.

They often refer to these group sessions as “retreats,” which I find amusing, since I am sure none of these leaders wish to take their organizations backward.

Recently, some leaders are recognizing the power of the language they use, and are beginning to call these off-site meeting “advances.”

EXERCISE:

Plan you own “advances” with key individuals in your professional and personal worlds to move toward the future you sincerely desire.