Category Archives: Relationships

“Help me understand that better.”

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“Help me understand that better.”

—Author Unknown

Today’s quote can be extremely helpful in the development and enhancement of relationships, especially for men.

A few months ago, I attended a coaching conference. One of the key “conversation starters” was John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Given the importance of relationships to maximize the benefits of the coaching process, we were “all ears and all in,” seeking greater mastery for ourselves and our clients.

If you are a student of Gray’s work, it is pretty apparent that many men have a limited attention span in certain conversations, and almost always seek to solve or fix problems even when the other party has made no request of them to do so.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would seeking to understand others better make a significant difference in both your professional and personal relationships?

“What would happen if you doubled down on service?”

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“What would happen if you doubled down on service?”

—Robert Richman, keynote speaker and culture architect

Image from Unsplash by Square

Did you know that it takes 5-7 times the effort and resources to obtain new customers than to keep existing customers?

With this statistic in mind, how much effort have you and your organization focused on new customer acquisition rather than making sure your current customers are delighted with you, your products, and of course, your level of service?

Customer loyalty is worth billions, however, we often slack off on our best behaviors once we close the deal. Much like when we say our “I Do” to our life partners. Given the divorce rate of about 50%, we all can see the need to maintain and more appropriately improve these relationships if they are to prosper.

EXERCISE:

What are some ways you can and will double down on your levels of service in your professional and personal communities? What would be the value of the loyalty generated?

“Everybody Matters.”

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“Everybody Matters.”

—Bob Chapman, founder of Truly Human Leadership

Where do you stand on the two words of today’s quote?

More specifically, where do you stand as it relates to the following communities:

  • Family
  • Neighborhood
  • Your organization or place of employment
  • Your city, state, country
  • The upcoming 2020 census
  • The world and all global citizens
  • The plants and animals that share our earth

As a boy, I attended Creighton Elementary School in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. One of my fellow students was Kim Sledge of the singing group, Sister Sledge, who became pretty famous for their hit song, “We are Family.”

EXERCISE:

Where can and will an “everybody matters” family approach to your various communities improve your world? What difference could this make to improve our planet if we all treated each other this way?

Consider checking out Bob Chapman’s book, Everybody Matters: The Extraordinary Power of Caring for Your People like Family.

 

“How can I help more people?”

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“How can I help more people?”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Toa Hefitba

Research has shown that a critical component to a purposeful, happy life is helping others.

Consider how you currently help others in your personal and professional communities.

What contribution and difference have you made at this point in your life?

Each day, we allocate our time and energies. At some point we run out of gas and need a recharge. Beyond our own efforts to efficiently use these resources, how might you leverage yourself to make a ten-times or 100-times impact?

The Quotable Coach Blog and the book based on this series is one way I’ve chosen to assist people well beyond my geographic reach to better their lives.

You are welcome to explore the almost 2,000 posts written over the past 8 years, by checking out the drop-down category list when you scroll down the home page.

EXERCISE:

What leveraged activity can and will you pursue to help even more people in the years ahead? Feel free to reply to this post with some actions you intend to take.

“It’s hard to see your own face without a mirror.”

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“It’s hard to see your own face without a mirror.”

—Phil McGraw, American TV Personality “Dr. Phil”

Image from Unsplash by Laurenz Kleinheider

I recently facilitated a team-building workshop with one of my favorite clients. Half of the twelve participants had worked with me before. The other six were with me for the first time. The senior leader has been coaching each of them for more than a decade and he wanted to boost his efforts with this session.

We discussed a variety of topics, and did a strength/weakness exercise, which is fairly standard for such meetings. Surprisingly, the feedback and comments from their colleagues made an even bigger impression on the participants than most expected.

EXERCISE:

Where are or could you more fully use the people in your personal and professional communities as a mirror, to realize more of your fullest potential?

“Professional is not a label you give yourself. It’s a description you hope others will apply to you.”

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“Professional is not a label you give yourself. It’s a description you hope others will apply to you.”

—David Maister, former Harvard Business School professor

If you say something positive about yourself, it is referred to as bragging. If others say similar things about you, it is considered the truth.

What do the people at work and in your career efforts have to say about you? How are you perceived and how do these perceptions compare and contrast from your own?

What would you like others to say and how do your words and deeds warrant such acknowledgment and praise?

EXERCISE:

Seek feedback from a small group of trusted colleagues. Let them reveal the unique abilities, superpowers, and best qualities they see in you. Ask them also about your weaknesses, and the limiting blind spots that may be holding you back from the professional levels you desire.

Thank them for their candid and generous perspective, and promise to act on their wise council.

For extra credit, consider a similar exercise with family and friends.

Feel free to reply to this post to let me know what you discover and how it impacts your life.

“To give of yourself is much more important than giving a gift you can buy.”

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“To give of yourself is much more important than giving a gift you can buy.”

—Steve Wozniak, Co-Founder of Apple, Inc.


WARNING! There will be a test at the end of this post!

Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, has sold over 12 million copies and has been a #1 New York Times best seller for over 8 years. It has received over 14,000 reviews on Amazon, with 94% being 5 or 4 stars. And given its universal appeal to people around the world, it has been translated into 50 languages. The five languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Gifts
  5. Quality Time

Please note that only one out of the five languages is about gifts, and a subset are hand-made rather than bought.

EXERCISE:

How and in what additional ways can you more fully give of yourself to demonstrate your love of family, friends and others you care about?

Please consider taking the Five Love Languages test and share this expertise with those closest to you to discover their love preferences.

“Ask yourself: Does the job touch my heart and feed my soul?”

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“Ask yourself: Does the job touch my heart and feed my soul? You will never be what you were meant to be if you aren’t having fun.”

—Suzy Welch, American Author, television commentator, and business journalist

Image from Unsplash by Atlas Green

If you light up on Friday and dread Monday, today’s quote is meant for you. Take heart in that 65-75% of the working world is in the same boat.

For dramatic purposes, that form of regret or stress can represent about 25 years of life, if you include a bit of traffic on your daily commute.

To what degree is this way too high a price to pay?

Beyond family and friends, how we spend our days and who we spend them with makes up far too much of our lives to have it not touch our hearts and feed our souls.

EXERCISE:

What significant, courageous, and of course, fun changes can and will you take to more fully realize that time is the coin of life?

“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”

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“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”

—Tony Robbins, American author, philanthropist and life coach

Image of Jane Goodall and a chimp

Image from the Jane Goodall Collection

Did you know that humans and chimpanzees share about 96 percent of the same DNA? Perhaps this is why we enjoy documentaries on these special creatures. When we observe them, we see numerous ways we are alike, such as in the care and nurturing of baby chimps.

Regarding human-to-human interactions, we often operate out of the Birds of a Feather Flock Together idea. At the same time, we can be very focused on where and how we differ as reasons to avoid, dislike, and even hate one another.

EXERCISE:

How would looking for the similarities and common characteristics and traits of others be the source of more friendships and closer communities in your world?

“When someone asks for a glass of water, don’t hose them down.”

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“When someone asks for a glass of water, don’t hose them down.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Manu Schwendener

Who doesn’t enjoy it when people take an interest in us? After all, we are being given a chance to talk about our favorite subject – ourselves.

Questions such as, How are you?, What’s going on?, and even What’s up? can sometimes lead to a torrent of information well beyond a quick update.

A little secret to fostering better relationships can be summaries in six simple words:

More of Others Less of You

EXERCISE:

To what degree do you hose people down when they ask you for your thoughts on a particular topic?

Consider using and sharing the code W.A.I.T. with those close to you – it stands for Why Am I Talking?