Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”

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“When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”

—John Ruskin, English artist and art critic

Image from Unsplash by Jose de la Cruz

We all know people who are self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant. Most people have at least a trace of these attributes. A typical reaction we have with these people is to withdraw and to avoid them. When people exhibit these behaviors, their worlds become small packages.

When we become far more interested in the lives of others – including family, friends and colleagues – our world expands exponentially.

Exercise:

How many people would attend your funeral, or attend a party that would celebrate your life?

If the people in your life were to write a eulogy for you, what would you like it to say?

“Of all knowledge, the wise and good seek most to know themselves.”

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“Of all knowledge, the wise and good seek most to know themselves.”

—William Shakespeare

Image from Unsplash by NeONBRAND

The pursuit of knowledge is a never-ending journey. Whether we wish to win the national spelling bee or master our own vocation, the inner journey to amass the necessary amount of information is daunting.

The journey within oneself can be mysterious and enlightening.

Commit to a personal journey of inner discovery and self-awareness. Discover your strengths. If you are not sure what they are, ask those close to you. Discover your unique abilities and talents. Discover your core values and fundamental beliefs.

Exercise:

Consider creating a daily self-discovery journal or log to capture your observations once a week. Share those observations with a close colleague or family member.

#93: “The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today…”

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“The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.”

—Gaylord Nelson, co-founder of Earth Day

Image from Unsplash by Jason Buscema

I once saw a behavioral experiment, conducted with small children around the age of three or four years old. The experiment involved marshmallows. The child could have a single marshmallow immediately, or they could wait five minutes longer and be rewarded with two marshmallows.

Some of the children simply gobbled the one immediately. However, the children who were able to delay their gratification seemed far happier with their accomplishment.

Exercise:

What sacrifices are you willing to make today to help yourself and others have a far better future — even if you may never receive thanks or the rewards directly?

What would you like your legacy to be?

You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”

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“You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”

—Stephen Covey, self-help author

Image from Unsplash by Roman Melnychuk

Actions speak louder than words. They are all we really have to make our dreams of a better future become our reality.

Consider a business leader who consistently touts his core values and corporate vision, yet is seen by his colleagues to act inconsistently with these beliefs. Consider the individual who is constantly discussing his interest in health and wellness, but is often seen making unhealthy eating choices and is rarely seen engaged in physical activity.

Exercise:

Where in life can you bring greater alignment between your actions and your words?

To whom–besides yourself–will you make these promises, and what added support will be required to ensure this new level of personal accountability?

“A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart and set out to accomplish it.”

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“A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart and set out to accomplish it.”

– James Allen, philosopher and writer

Life purpose, making a difference, and living a meaningful life are fundamental to happiness.

How can you find your purpose and life direction? How will you know when you are heading the right way, and when you’re getting close to arriving?

Exercise:

List your top 20 – 30 core values.

Cut this list in half, and then in half again, to get to the real core.

Next, create a life vision statement, using all of the final list and perhaps most of the second list of values. Wordsmith this vision until you feel it is 100% you.

Now use your vision statement as the context to inspire your actions in every area of your life: it can help you become happier and more fulfilled.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high…”

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“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.”

– Michelangelo

Image from Unsplash by AJ Yorio

I guess spending five years painting the ceiling of the Sistine chapel is an example of reaching consistently for new heights. In fact, most of Michelangelo’s works are examples of extraordinary achievements.

  • What have been your proudest moments in life?
  • Where have you dared to achieve greatness, or a higher purpose?
  • How did stretching or reaching for these seemingly out of reach goals help you grow?

Even if we fail on attempt after attempt, we can try again.

Exercise

Where in your professional or personal life are you playing too small and too safe?

What goals in your life are worth greater risk, even the risk of failure?