Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Don’t be fooled by the calendar

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“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One person gets only a week’s value out of a year while another gets a full year’s value out of a week.”

—Charles Richards, Author of The Psychology of Wealth

Barry’s Watch

I own a Warner Brothers watch given to me by my wife over 20 years ago.

It shows Sylvester the Cat using a toothpick with Tweety Bird inside still very much alive.

What makes this watch extra special is that it has a small button on the side that illuminates the face in the dark or when the light is low. I refer to it as my “Lighten up” watch, to remind me to not be so serious and engage in life with a more playful spirit.

This watch has been sitting in a drawer and has not been worn since the beginning of the pandemic.

Fortunately, I seem to have developed an internal light that illuminates my life and lets me know what’s truly important.

EXERCISE:

What are your thoughts about today’s quote?

What is your current relationship with time?

What do you consider your wisest investments of this precious resource?

Please reply to this post if your care to share your perspective.

So many conditions of happiness are available

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“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”

—Thích Nhất Hạnh, late Vietnamese Thiền Buddhist monk

Image from Amazon

As part of my coaching process, I introduce my clients to a concept called “creative tension” coined by Robert Frisk in his book, The Path of Least Resistance from the early 90’s.

The idea that an envisioned or expected future has the power to excite and pull us toward it has been a classic and useful tool in leadership training and enrolling people in new opportunities for millennia. It turns out that people tend to be pretty happy and engaged when their efforts lead to progress toward a desired future.

This means of generating a sense of happiness is, however, not the only condition available to us.

EXERCISE:

How can you use your amazing memory as well as your mindfulness capacities to examine the past and present to bolster your ability to seek and find more happiness?

Sometimes we forget that what is happening around us and within us is our real life.

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Sometimes we forget that what is happening around us and within us is our real life.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jon Tyson

My wife and I love to go to the movies. She frequently lets me know what is playing and gives me an overview to help us choose what to see. In our efforts to not waste our time, I often seek the guidance of review services such as Rotten Tomatoes to provide the perspectives of both the critics and the audience. We tend to trust the audience more given the fact that critics can be—you know—critical.

What if your life was a movie? What rating would you give it up to this point? How engaging are the people and events? In the case of our own lives, we are both critic and the audience. We are also the screenwriter, director, producer, and lead actor that can improve our rating as we go.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you break out the popcorn, candy, and beverage of your choice to more fully enjoy the reality of what’s showing in your life?

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition

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“A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.”

—William Arthur Ward, 20th Century American motivational writer

Image from Unsplash by bruce mars

A few days after the Labor Day holiday our outdoor community pool closed for the season. Although I like to think of Autumn as the season where every leaf is a flower, many of our local residents begin hibernating or flying south.

I like the idea of wherever you go, there you are, in which case we can actually take our attitudinal weather wherever we go.

Who are the happy, peppy people in your life?

Who are the individuals who are constantly walking around under a dark cloud of their own making?

What type of person are you?

EXERCISE:

What attitude adjustments can and will you bring into the fall and winter seasons?

How can a sunnier disposition brighten the months ahead for everyone in your various communities?

Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future

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“Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future.”

—Oliver Burkeman, British journalist and writer

image from Amazon

What are your favorite things to do?

Where are your most enjoyable places to travel?

Examine the highlight reel of your life so far to pick out your most wonderful experiences.

How much time is left on your biological clock?

If 4000 weeks—which amounts to about 80 years—is all that we get, how much time remains?

How many of us have a someday list or bucket list for things we hope to do or experience in the future? The challenge we often ignore is just how finite the sands of time truly are.

What happens when we wake up one morning and it hits us that we can’t have or do it all?

EXERCISE:

Hope is not an optimal strategy for living, and someday is not a day of the week.

How then can you live more fully in each moment and avoid the absurdity of living for the future?

Please check out Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks—Time Management for Mortals for some wonderful coaching on this subject.

Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention

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“Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention.”

—John O’Donohue, Irish poet, author, and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by David Armitage

Let’s go on an imaginary scavenger hunt.

We are hunting for miracles. What do you see in your immediate surrounding? Look up. Look down. Look right and left. Zoom in. Zoom out. What miracles did you notice to put on your list?

As John O’Donohue seems to know, most miracles are basically silent. They don’t scream look at me, I’m a miracle for you to cherish that you missed in all of your busyness.

In most cases, if the decibel levels of life are up, the likelihood of experiencing a miracle are low.

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully experience and appreciate the miracles in your world that seek no attention?

How could more of these quiet observations add to the richness of your life?

We can practice yoga by simply sitting in stillness

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We can practice yoga by simply sitting in stillness. This is your inner posture.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Tadeusz Lakota

In my early forties, I attended yoga classes at my local fitness center every Friday and Sunday morning.

I had heard the praises of this practice and yet I always felt I was missing the full value it claimed to offer. I found a good number of poses very challenging and I was clearly not a Gumby when asked to bend and fold by the instructor.

I even had difficulty on most occasions focusing on my breath without my mind racing off in a multitude of directions which often included an unhealthy dose of inner critic.

In more recent years, through my meditation efforts and other forms of eastern movement, I have discovered my inner yoga posture simply by sitting in stillness.

EXERCISE:

How could bringing more stillness into your life offer you many of yoga’s benefits without getting bent out of shape?

When you live on a round planet, there is no choosing sides

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“When you live on a round planet, there is no choosing sides.”

—Dr. Wayne Dyer, late American self-help author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by gebhartyler

The health of our planet and therefore ourselves depends on many factors.

Astronauts speaking from their experience in space say there are no lines separating us like on our maps. Our air, water, and even the network of fungi below the surface of our world connects us in ways we don’t always recognize.

Within the past century or so, man’s use and often abuse of this planet’s resources have created an increasingly urgent cascade of climate and environmental issues that are affecting us all.

EXERCISE:

Where do you find yourself taking sides in your various communities?

What can you do to help them come together to make things better for everyone?

Consider listening to the 2010 song “We are the World” as a good reminder that we are all in this together.

Please read The Carbon Almanac and help carry its information and message of hope to others.

If you enjoy fiction you may also want to check out The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson.