Tag Archives: Barry Demp

“Show me someone who has done …”

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“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.”

—Lou Holtz, retired American football player, coach, and active sportscaster

Photo from Flickr by twiga269

Photo from Flickr by twiga269

Think about the greatest accomplishments of your life. If you can, arrange them chronologically, from the achievements of your childhood to those of the present day. Which moments brought you the most joy and fulfillment?  Now consider the struggles and challenges you faced, and the effort it took to make your goals real.

In this quote, Holtz is giving us a bit of coaching to follow this practice as we tackle each of our days ahead.

EXERCISE:

What adverse conditions or situations are you facing at this moment? What is it worth to you to overcome these adversities in order to reach your most cherished professional or personal goals? How will you summon the personal courage and support of those around you to achieve your desires?

“Individually, we are …”

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“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”

— Ryunosuke Satoro, Japanese Poet

Photo from Flickr by Tim Lundstedt

Photo from Flickr by Tim Lundstedt

A few days ago I had a discussion with a business leader who was at the end of his rope. He was totally exhausted and overwhelmed by the tsunami of work and responsibilities coming at him.

Have you ever felt that way? What did you do to stave off the tidal wave?

Our coaching session centered on his current and future use of social support structures, so that he might tackle these matters in a collective, collaborative community rather than as an individual whose shoulders were just not wide enough to bear the burden.

EXERCISE:

How can you capture and mobilize all the individual drops within your personal and professional communities to become your own powerful ocean, to move the obstacles in your path?

“If you know what to do…”

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“If you know what to do to reach your goal, it’s not a big enough goal.”

– Bob Proctor,  Author and Speaker

Photo from Flickr by Beth Jusino

Photo from Flickr by Beth Jusino

Do you find yourself thinking a goal you’ve set is just too far beyond your reach or capabilities?

Today’s quote suggests that we must strive toward the goals we think are too big, too far away, too hard to realize, even when we are not certain how to reach them. Everything else is just “playing it safe.”

EXERCISE:

Review your list of current goals. Is there enough “stretch” in them to truly support the achievement and personal growth you desire? If you find your list a bit lacking, consider working with a coach, mentor, or committed colleague to go a bit bigger.

Thanksgiving from Barry Demp

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TQC Thanksgiving-01

Dear Friends:

Thanksgiving, to me, is more than a holiday, a great meal, and big football games.

Thanks-Giving—gratitude—is a way of life, a discipline and for many, a spiritual practice.

Today I give thanks for all of you—my friends, followers, clients, and colleagues.  Each of you have enriched my life by allowing me into your mind, your heart, or your world.

May this Thanks-Giving bring you laughter, love, and thanks for all that you have and all that comes to you over the next year.

Gratefully,

Barry Demp

 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like…”

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“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

— William Arthur Ward, one of America’s most quoted writers

Photo from Flickr by Steven Depolo

Photo from Flickr by Steven Depolo

Six or seven years ago the economy in Michigan and the U.S. hit a rough patch. Most people were tightening their belts and cutting back on unessential expenditures.

That year, my wife Wendy and I agreed that we would take the vacation we both desired, and consider the trip the only holiday gift we would give each other.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked and upset to find a pile of presents in front of our fireplace. Before I could utter a word, Wendy said: “Calm down. I know you think I’ve broken my promise. Before you say anything, please open one of the gifts.”

To my surprise, she had boxed and wrapped many of my favorite things  from around the house — my favorite book, a special tie, my most comfortable sweater — because she wanted to express her love and gratitude to me by surprising me with gifts to unwrap.

EXERCISE:

What new and creative ways can you find to express your gratitude this Thanksgiving, and throughout this holiday season?

“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.”

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“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.”

— W. Clement Stone, businessman, philanthropist and self-help book author

Photo from Flickr by Alan Levine

Photo from Flickr by Alan Levine

This is perhaps the most appropriate Thanksgiving quote of all time. It conveys the two fundamental ideas for this great American holiday, and this time of year.

“Thanks” is a simple word expressing gratitude for all our blessings.

“Giving” expresses love and genuine caring, which always comes back to us two-fold, and gives us even more reason for gratitude.

EXERCISE:

Take a moment today to explore exactly what Thanksgiving means to you, and feel free to share your thoughts. I’d be very thankful if you do!

The Worst Walls

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“The worst walls are never the ones you find in your way. The worst walls are the ones you put there – you build yourself.”

– Ursula K. LeGuin, American 20th century science fiction writer

Image from Flickr by Eric Lockhart

Image from Flickr by Eric Lockhart

Many years ago, I was having a conversation with a fellow coach. The discussion centered on the claim of “breakthrough results” in his company’s marketing materials.

Although this phrase is often considered jargon or “consultant-speak,” he pointed out that in order for a breakthrough to occur, a barrier must be overcome.

This quote reminds us that we are the architects and builders of some of our own barriers. What makes the walls we build the worst and perhaps the most difficult to break through is the fact that we may not even know we have constructed them, or that they are actually stopping us.

EXERCISE:

In the next day or so, spend some time working with a mentor, close friend, colleague, or coach, who can help you examine and explore some of the internal walls you have built. Once identified, develop a plan and a support structure to get to the other side.

 

“Getting over a painful experience is much like…”

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

—C.S. Lewis, 19th century novelist, poet, and essayist

Photo from Flickr by RawheaD Rex

Photo from Flickr by RawheaD Rex

Over the course of my 21 years as a coach, I’ve seen just about every sorrow and success a person can experience. Peaks and valleys, stepping up and sliding down, are par for the course and no one is immune to life’s fluctuations.

I’ve also noticed that the people with the greatest sense of balance, happiness, and satisfaction are those who experience life events for whatever they are, and don’t hold on too long. They’ve learned to let go in order to move on.

EXERCISE:

Examine your own life or the lives of those close to you. Is assistance needed to let go of past painful experiences in order to move forward?  Consider requesting or offering assistance where appropriate.

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up…”

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“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.”

– Author Unknown

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Virtually everyone entering a coaching relationship desires a new and better future, and finds it difficult to achieve their goals on their own, or wants to speed up the process.

Often, through coaching, they discover internal and external barriers that limit or block their success. External barriers can include critical personal or professional relationships that don’t support the journey, and those that sabotage or stop the progress altogether.

EXERCISE:

Take a moment to consider if there are people in your life that need to be let off your “life elevator.” How can you take this important step and do it courteously and respectfully?

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure…”

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“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

– Mary Jean Irion, Pennsylvania Teacher and Writer

Photo from Flickr by Jan

Photo from Flickr by Jan

Have you ever sat in front of your TV, eating chips or another favorite snack, only to find your fingers at the bottom of an empty bag, searching for more, and wondering how you could have possibly eaten your way through all those treats?

Just like food we consume mindlessly, our days, months, and years sometimes fly by unnoticed, because we think there’s plenty more “in the bag,” or simply because we do not cherish each moment as a precious gift.

EXERCISE:

If you knew your days were numbered (which they are) how would you spend this “normal day”?