Tag Archives: Demp Coaching

Speak with love and compassion

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“Speak to people with love and compassion, and you have the ability to create change in them.”

—Matt Valentine, founder of Buddhaimonia

Image of hands holding a map

Photo by Daniil Silantev on Unsplash

I feel very honored to be a business and personal coach. To kick-start each new relationship, I spend an entire day with my new client. This helps us establish a trusting and supportive partnership.

The level of transparency, openness, and connection that develops over time is often significant and meaningful to myself and to my clients.

There is very often a sincere caring and compassionate connection which mobilizes most clients to break habits and behavioral patterns to realize many sustainable changes they seek.

EXERCISE:

How and where can you bring greater love and compassion to selected people in your communities, to enhance their ability to create lasting positive change in their lives?

Reading gives us some place to go

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“Reading gives us some place to go when we have to stay where we are.”

—Mason Cooley, Late American Aphorist

Image of a man reading at a bus stop

Photo by Laëtitia Buscaylet on Unsplash

My mother, Rose, was the most avid reader I’ve ever known. As a boy, I would frequently go with her to the library where, every three weeks, she would pick a new batch of 12 books. She devoured them every evening after dinner.

I recall her frustration on one occasion, in that she could not find, in our small local library, enough books of interest that she had not already read.

Although she was never a world traveler or college graduate, she took countless trips with her vivid imagination – wherever her written portals to adventure would take her.

EXERCISE:

Consider visiting your local library or bookstore to pick up a book that will take you on a great adventure, from the comfort of your favorite chair.

Learning is a Treasure

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“Learning is a treasure whose keys are queries.”

—Arabian Proverb

Image of "A More Beautiful Question" Book Cover

Have you ever played the lottery hoping to strike it rich? Perhaps as a child you searched on a sandy beach, hoping to find a bit of buried treasure.

The daily pursuit of knowledge and nuggets of wisdom are a form of treasure hunt instantly available to you. Today’s quote points to the importance of curiosity and a mind filled with questions, as keys to opening the vaults and delights of learning.

EXERCISE:

Consider picking up a copy of A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger to become a more masterful locksmith in opening the treasure chest of life-long learning.

Another book I like very much that will help in this area and develop your own proficiency as a coach is The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier.

All in the same boat

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“We didn’t all come over on the same ship, but we’re all in the same boat.”

—Bernard M. Baruch, 20th Century American Philanthropist

Have you ever watched the procession of countries an the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games? Summer or Winter, you will definitely see thousands of athletes from hundreds of countries, each with their own languages, cultures, and traditions. This makes it appear that we are separate and distinct from one another.

With technology, we are in a hyper-connected world, with increasing evidence that through economic, social and environmental factors, we are all in the same boat. We sink or swim together.

EXERCISE:

Consider reading the latest edition of The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman, or his latest book, Thank You for Being Late, to explore your own place in this global boat.

Friday Review Relationships

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FRIDAY REVIEW: RELATIONSHIPS

How do you see yourself in relationship to others? Here are a few relationship-related posts you may have missed. Click the link to read the full message.

 

“To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

 

 

“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

 

 

 

 

 

“You can rest assured that if you devote your time and attention to the highest advantage of others, the universe will support you.”

 

 

 

He who walks in anothers tracks

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“He who walks in another’s tracks leaves no footprints.”

—Joan L. Brannon

Image of a man walking down a railroad track

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

A favorite book I read this past year is Mastery, by Robert Green, which was actually published in 2012.

This well-researched book was no light read for me, and I found myself taking in only five to ten pages at a time to ingest and digest its contents.

Masters often engage in various apprenticeships and mentoring relationships with others more skilled or experienced than they. A significant take away-for me was that there is always a point where they must step out of the footsteps of their mentors to venture out on the own personal mastery journey.

EXERCISE:

Where is it time for you to step out of the tracks others have left, to make your own unique footprints in the world?

Grudges get heavier the longer they are carried

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“Grudges get heavier the longer they are carried.”

—P.K. Thomajan, 20th Century Essayist

Image of a man carrying a heavy sack

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

I find it particularly interesting that many people do not always experience the holiday season with the joy and happiness the media would suggest.

With the season now in our rear-view mirror, I’ve observed many of my professional colleagues, friends, and clients share some not so happy tales of gatherings that went badly, due to the less than warm feelings carried into these occasions.

Perhaps not so surprising is the fact that many people avoid these gatherings altogether, and have done so for many years, due to the heaviness of the grudges they carry.

EXERCISE:

With whom are you carrying a heavy and burdensome grudge, personally or professionally?

What strategies and approaches can you use to lighten your load and improve these relationships?

Consider picking up a copy of Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott, for some strategies to consider.

Everyone is a moon

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“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

—Mark Twain, in Following the Equator

Image of a full moon in a volatile sky

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

Did you know that when you look up at the night sky and view a full moon you are seeing exactly what every other human – and for that matter, every other creature on Earth – has viewed for millennium?

Based on the rotational speed of the moon and the position of the Earth and Sun, we only get to see one-half of the moon’s surface.

People are like the moon, in that they often only present the sunny side of themselves. We sometimes tend to keep our dark side – including our weaknesses, fears, and perceived imperfections – hidden from view.

EXERCISE:

How might an exploration of your dark side, and perhaps revealing it to those you trust, create new opportunities and possibilities for you over (at least) the next lunar cycle?

The Gist of New Years Day

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“The gist of New Year’s Day is: Try Again.”

Frank Crane, 20th Century American Film Director

Image of a woman holding a calendar

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

If you ever established a New Year’s Resolution and came up short, you are not alone.

Statistics show over 90% of people have the same experience.

Studies have shown that even when doctors tell heart patients they will die if they don’t change their habits, only one in seven will be able to follow through successfully.

It appears that desire and motivation aren’t enough, even when it is literally a matter of life or death.

It is also clear that the status quo has a pretty tight grip on what Roger Kegan calls The Immunity to Change.

What patterns of thinking and doing would have your “Try Again” efforts work this time?

EXERCISE:

Beyond limiting your focus on fewer priority objectives, consider adding a wide variety of social and structural supports to bolster your motivation and ability to succeed this time.

Friday Review Patience

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FRIDAY REVIEW: PATIENCE

How would you rate your level of patience on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest? Here are a few patience-related posts you may have missed. Click the link to read the full message.

 

“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.”

 

 

 

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

 

 

 

“Patience is also a form of action.”