More Than He Can Chew

Posted on December 30, 2015 by Barry

“A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.”

-Herb Caen, 20th-century San Francisco Journalist

Image from dailyapple.blogspot.com

What are some of the physical signs you experience when you take on a new challenge, go outside your comfort zone, and bite off more than you can chew?

Is it butterflies in your stomach? Cold sweats, a pounding heart, or a general feeling of fear and foreboding?

What do you do when you have these feelings?

Herb Caen suggest we embrace the lessons and accompanying wisdom provided by the circumstances, rather than retreating.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional worlds can you start taking bigger bites out of life’s apple to capture even more nuggets of wisdom?

Life is Very Short

Posted on December 29, 2015 by Barry

“Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.”

—John Lennon, co-founder of the Beatles

Image from storypic.com

I am currently coaching an attorney who wishes to make a career transition to something far more in line with his vision and values. Ask him about what he finds distasteful about his current career and his response is clear: he does not enjoy all the fussing and fighting.

Examine your professional and personal worlds to determine just how much of your time you and others spend fussing and fighting. If the amount is unacceptable, examine the cost to your health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction.

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to neither initiate nor participate in fussing and fighting? Lennon’s coaching and life is for all of us to appreciate and be reminded of just how short and precious a life can be.

Make a New Decision

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Barry

“Help someone make a new decision, based on new alternatives, and a new story.”

-Seth Godin, American author & entrepreneur

Image from sethgodin.com

One of the few bloggers I read each day without fail is Seth Godin. He has been consistently blogging for over two decades, and has one of the highest readerships worldwide. Beyond his amazing dependability are his thought-provoking and brilliant perspectives on many ordinary things about life, success, and making a difference. Take a bit of coaching and check out his work at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/.

Today’s quote is perfect for this time of year, as we all resolve to be a better version of ourselves. Godin suggests that when we take on the role of coach, mentor, or advisor to others, we help them make new, powerful value-based decisions that come from the story they wish to tell next year at this time.

One wonderful by-product of playing this role for others is that it is almost impossible to not reap extraordinary benefits in your own life. Givers Gain.

EXERCISE:

Select at least one person from your personal and professional worlds to coach, mentor, or advice regarding their decision and the new stories they wish to tell next year.

Christmas Waves a Magic Wand

Posted on December 24, 2015 by Barry

“Christmas waves a magic wand over the world, and Behold! Everything is softer and more beautiful.”

-Norman Vincent Peale, 20th Century minister and author

Image from groupleme.com

A friend and colleague, Dr. Jean Ann Larson, shared today’s quote in her recent newsletter. Regardless of your religious beliefs or spiritual practices, this time of year holds a certain specialness for most people.

It is a time of reflection, generosity, forgiveness, gratitude, and hope which, as Peale points out, softens and beautifies our world, inspiring us to carry the magic into the New Year.

EXERCISE:

Throughout the holidays, please use your own magic wand to soften and beautify your world. Imagine the possibility of seven billion people doing the same.

Things You Have

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Barry

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alvanman

With Black Friday behind us and the Christmas holiday just days away, a great deal of attention is being devoted to consumerism and asking our Santa’s for the things we desire.

About ten years ago, my wife Wendy and I took a very special vacation to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We made a practical budgetary decision, and promised to forgo purchasing additional gifts for one another.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked to see wrapped packages from my wife sitting by the fireplace. I began to get upset, thinking she had broken her promise. With an elfish smile, Wendy simply said“Yes, I know what we promised,” and asked me to open the gifts.

To my pleasant surprise, inside those packages were some of my favorite possessions⏤things I already owned and loved. Opening the packages caused me to remember how much I enjoyed them!

EXERCISE:

How can you take greater satisfaction in the things you already have, rather than things you want or even receive? Consider paying particular attention to non-material items.

Won’t Change You

Posted on December 22, 2015 by Barry

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.”

—Fred Devito, American Yoga Instructor

Image from londonpowertunnels.co.uk

What areas of your personal or professional life would you most like to change for the better? How long have you wanted these changes in your life? If your answer is “far longer than I care to admit,” a new approach will be required.

The New Year is just around the corner and a high percentage of people will be looking to resolve or achieve far more this time around.

One key to this success is to choose only a small number of challenging objectives that will cause you to stretch and grow, and to garner many more social and structural sources of support to virtually guarantee your success.

EXERCISE:

List one or two challenging goals for the New Year. Display them in multiple places in your personal and professional worlds. Solicit the rigorous support of a coach, mentor, family member, or friend, who will not give up on you to assure the lasting changes and results you desire.

Once this has occurred, select another priority goal and repeat the process, to have your best year yet!

When You Die

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Barry

“What if when you die, they ask: How was Heaven?”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Close your eyes and imagine how heaven would look and feel. Take your time, explore all the vivid colors and inspiration beauty of this Utopian world.

Now imagine that you are a friendly alien visiting the earth for the first time, viewing this beautiful blue, green, and white world.

What if Earth were heaven? What if we were all too unaware to appreciate what was right in front of us all along?

EXERCISE:

Assume a “Heaven on Earth” attitude all day today, and consider sharing your thoughts with those you care about, or simply capturing your perspective in a journal or notebook.

A Wonderful Thought

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Barry

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet!”

-Author Unknown

image from searchengineland.com

Today’s quote caused me to pause a bit longer than I normally do as I look to the New Year ahead. Instead of looking at the year as a whole, or even fleshing out the priority goals and objectives I wish to tackle, I plan on looking at each day as a unique and precious gift.

One way to see the value of this exercise is to take a trip into your past to examine and pleasantly re-experience, through memory, some of the really great days and experiences. As you take the time to do this, count how many great days you can recall. The list will probably be finite.

EXERCISE:

How can you design the coming year, proactively and intentionally, to have as many remarkable days this year as you have had to this point in your life?

Choices Reflect Your Hopes

Posted on December 17, 2015 by Barry

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

-Nelson Mandela

image from www.cbc.ca

There are two primary schools of thought regarding what spurs people into action. The first is what I call the “avoiding pain” strategy, in which people examine the bad things that may occur if they don’t take action. Some sales methods take advantage of this approach by turning up the level of pain in order to compel people to buy a product or service.

The alternative strategy, suggested in Nelson Mandela’s statement, could be called the “pleasure strategy.” Here, a compelling and hopeful objective mobilizes us to choose certain actions and behaviors that will help us realize our desirable future.

EXERCISE:

What will you do to make the majority of your life choices—personally and professionally—from a more hopeful perspective?

If Criticism is Needed

Posted on December 16, 2015 by Barry

“If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don’t use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.”

-Ann Landers, Advice Columnist

image from www.blogging4jobs.com

Providing constructive feedback is the cornerstone of a healthy and productive coaching relationship. Criticism, or the more common term, “constructive criticism” can often have less than desirable and even destructive consequences.

A critical determinant to providing effective and optimal feedback is a trusting relationship in which both parties are focused and committed to the same objective.

EXERCISE:

How would a more tactful coaching approach be used in your world, to provide the valuable feedback you desire in supporting those around you toward enhanced performance and productivity?