Changing Us

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“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

A topic that comes up fairly frequently in my coaching sessions these days is aging. As someone in the middle of the Baby Boom Generation, I see that most of my contemporaries are also experiencing the “grayification” of our society. We’re dealing with aging parents and our own health and fitness related issues.

Despite all of our best efforts to eat better, exercise more, and get much-needed rest to renew and recharge, we are heading toward an entropy of life, where things begin to break down and stop working optimally.

There happens to be a new form of coaching called “Eldering.” One of its tenets is to assist people in navigating these years with more grace, dignity, and life mastery.

EXERCISE:

How can you adjust, adapt, or change yourself in relationship to those issues and situations that are unchangeable, to more fully experience a life of greater happiness and fulfillment?

Learning to Overlook

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“Wisdom is learning what to overlook.”

—William James, American philosopher and psychologist

QC #908The first book I ever read by Robin Sharma was The Monk who Sold His Ferrari. It is an amusing and insightful story of a hard-driving attorney, determined to win every case and annihilate his opposition while he reaps the material rewards of success.  As you may guess from the title, he experiences various life events that literally stop him in his tracks, and had him re-evaluate his life from a new perspective. He begins to seek a life of greater meaning and significance.

EXERCISE:

What issues, obstacles, life complexities, and other barriers are you facing that would be better overlooked?

Better to be a lion

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“It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.”

-Elizabeth Kenny, unaccredited 20th Century Australian nurse

Image from Flickr by Tambako the Jaguar

Image from Flickr by Tambako the Jaguar

Take an inventory of your life’s greatest moments—the ones where you did or were part of something remarkable, noteworthy, and of course, memorable. What were you doing at the time? I would guess that on many of these occasions you were reaching for some goal, striving for something you desired, or operating beyond your comfort zone inspired by a high-priority commitment.

Rarely do great accomplishments occur when we simply move day-to-day, grazing on the same grasses of our personal or professional worlds.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you rally your inner lion to courageously roar, chase, and pounce on the successes you desire?

From the Errors of Others

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“From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own.”

—Publilius Syrus, ancient Syrian writer

QC #906

A highly notable technique to support personal growth and development is to encourage people to embrace failure. When we fail, we have the opportunity to pick up experiential lessons from the event.

Today’s quote, however, suggests that not all lessons need to occur from our own failures, setbacks, and stumbles. All we need do is pay particular attention to the misadventures of those around us. From them, we can glean additional nuggets of knowledge and wisdom.

Given the fact that there is only one of you, and so many people in your personal and professional worlds, the odds favor the open and receptive mind in picking up a higher proportion of lessons this way.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you use the errors of others to pursue greater success and mastery throughout your day?

Patience

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“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet

Image from heyjamie.com

Image from heyjamie.com

What is the current pace of your life? If you are like many, it’s busy, rushed, in overdrive, or even hyper-drive. You may find yourself eating fast or convenience foods on the run, skipping meals altogether, or getting a boost from coffee and caffeinated energy drinks. Or just as damaging, you may be missing out on the rest and exercise your body needs to reach and maintain optimal health.

What results would be possible if you took a more patient approach to life and your top priorities? What items on your to-do list could you reduce or eliminate, to make room for a more patient and peaceful flow in your life?

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to achieve a more natural and patient pace throughout your day?

How can you make this practice a daily habit?

A new book that will definitely help you progress in these areas is On Target Living, by Chris Johnson.

Focus

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“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not in fighting the old, but on building the new.”

—Socrates, Classic Greek Philosopher

image from bigfishmedia.ca

image from bigfishmedia.ca

When I consider the idea of fighting the old ways of doing things, I think of the phrase, whatever we resist persists. Notice how some of your own less-than-desirable habits or behaviors seem to stick around no matter how much you try to fight them off. The act of building things is much like a replacement strategy where we insert what we desire into our lives instead.

EXERCISE:

What would be the biggest difference in your personal or professional life if you stopped fighting the old and started building the new?

Appreciation

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“Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

—Author Unknown

Image from jewishfed.org

Image from jewishfed.org

Who doesn’t want to live an even more full and abundant life? We have all heard the statement that we can have virtually anything we want in life, we just can’t have everything. We must be prepared to make certain trade-offs. To have more of this or that we need intentionally to have less of something else. If we choose to start something new we often must stop something else.

A caveat to this thought involves exercising our appreciation muscles, so the excellence that surrounds us each day is available whenever we wish.

EXERCISE:

How can you expand your capacity to appreciate the riches and wonders of life all around you, to lead an even more full and abundantly rewarding life?

Thorn of Experience

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“One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.”

—James Russell Lowell, 20th Century American poet, critic, and diplomat

Image from Flickr by Taro Taylor

Image from Flickr by Taro Taylor

Perhaps the single most significant reason the coaching profession has grown to over a $2 billion industry is the fact that it focuses a great degree on experiential learning. Although there is still a substantial value in telling and showing, it seems the stickiness and sustainability of the lesson comes from experiencing things firsthand, where we actually get on the field, run a few plays, and see what happens.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you include far more experiential learning opportunities to help you progress even further in your life?

Focus

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Follow One Course Until Successful (FOCUS)

—Author Unknown

Image from blog.ruzuku.com

Image from blog.ruzuku.com

One of my favorite quotes related to the FOCUS acronym is “If you try to chase two rabbits they both get away.”

In our “faster, faster” world, multi-tasking is a fairly common practice. Although this strategy seems to work in many circumstances, it often has drawbacks, particularly when we are faced with a very important priority. In such cases, even a small bit of distraction or taking our eye off the ball can have considerable undesirable consequences.

EXERCISE:

Identify one or two areas in your life where a lack of focus is having a less than desirable impact. Where would following one course until successful produce the greatest value for you today and in the future?

Leading the Pack

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“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.fanpop.com

Image from www.fanpop.com

Today’s quote makes me think of the times my clients state that a colleague, coworker, or client “threw them under the bus.”  In almost all cases, they say it was in an unfair, unjust, and detrimental way.

Blaming, bullying, one-upmanship, and office politics are common occurrences. How we respond to such attacks, and how we rise above their potential negative impacts is a skill which we could all benefit from time to time.

EXERCISE:

A book that I have read numerous times over the years – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – points to fundamental ideas that can help us all return, leading the pack, when we are thrown to the wolves. They are:

  1. Be impeccable with your word
  2. Don’t take anything personally
  3. Don’t make assumptions
  4. Always do your best