Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

As we grow older, real beauty travels from the face to the heart,

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“As we grow older, real beauty travels from the face to the heart, appeal turns to charm, hurt to wisdom, and great moments to shared memories. The true beauty of life is not how happy you are now, but how happy others are because of you.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Logan Weaver

How old are you?

When was the last time you took a good look in the mirror?

How does your self-appraisal compare when you view yourself from the inside versus the outside?

Without question, entropy is having its way with all of us and many of us are grasping desperately for our younger days.

Today’s quote can be a wonderful way to re-frame our perspective on the aging process.

It helps us see what we’ve been given and gained with all the days gone by.

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully embrace the process of aging and look to the happiness you have fostered in the lives of others along the way?

Sometimes just stopping makes space for something new to show up

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Sometimes just stopping makes space for something new to show up.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Joshua Hoehne

One thing that stood out on our recent return from Florida was the reckless drivers we saw everywhere. Among their most notable traits was how rarely these motorists ever came to a full stop at stop signs on side streets.

Perhaps they saw the red hexagons as mere suggestions, and rolled right through.

Stopping completely has considerable value in both driving and in life. It gives us time to not only look both ways but to also look within.

Assessing our realities, clarifying our intended destinations, and then proceeding with care seems like a wise way to go.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life and world do you roll through the stop signs?

How would applying the brakes more often — and more fully — create a space for something new to show up?

Friday Review: Vision

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Friday Review: Vision

How clear is your vision for yourself and your future? Here are a few elated posts you may have missed.

“Approach every task as though it were the moment that will define you.”

 

 

 

“The best way to ride a horse is in the direction in which it is going.”

 

 

 

“It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.”

 

 

 

“When you feel the swell of life around you, simply drift…..”

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“When you feel the swell of life around you, simply drift…”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Osman Rana

How often do you feel the tender and inspiring aspect of life around you?

Who are the people, where are the places, and what are the things that lift you up and carry you through your days?

Where do you experience a strong sense of resonance and belonging that touches your heart and soul?

How long do you linger in these moments?

Explore this list to see if any of these events strike a chord:

  • The embrace of a loved one
  • Observing acts of kindness or generosity
  • Children playing
  • The many beautiful aspects of nature
  • Examples of personal excellence and mastery
  • Music
  • Art

EXERCISE:

Create a list of 5-10 moments in which you feel the swell of life. How can you linger and drift with these feelings more fully and more often?

“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

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“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Amazon

Yesterday’s post was about reaching the point of diminishing returns and the heavy costs we often pay.

Perhaps the most often used strategy to lighten our loads is to just say NO. How often have you given this approach a go, and how did things work out?

One primary reason saying NO is so difficult is that we don’t wish to damage the relationship. When we don’t create boundaries and say NO, we often hurt ourselves and feel considerable resentment.

EXERCISE:

Here are some useful books you may explore to help you learn to say NO:
The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
The Power of No by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher
The Book of No by Susan Neuman
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades

 

At what point in your efforts do you experience the point of diminishing returns

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“At what point in your efforts do you experience the point of diminishing returns? When is enough enough?”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Suzi Kim

What is your profession? How many hours do you typically work each week?

Consider the career of an accountant: seven days and over 80 hours a week is often the norm for many of these folks this time of year.

What about other professions such as those in the medical field during Covid and significant staff shortages?

Maybe you are a homemaker or caregiver with young children or aging parents who also needs to be a breadwinner. If any of these situations sounds familiar, you have likely reached and exceeded the point of diminishing returns.

EXERCISE:

What are the costs to you and others when you consistently go beyond your limits?

What new or different strategies can you employ when enough is more than enough?

How do you prepare your mind and body for the task at hand

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How do you prepare your mind and body for the task at hand? Establishing simple repeatable rituals can help.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by TJ Dragotta

Are you a basketball fan? Did you watch any or all of the madness in March? If so, you are probably familiar with some of the pre-shot routines players use before each free throw. Close your eyes and picture the number of ball bounces, deep breaths, and other gestures of your favorite players.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you engage in simple repeatable rituals to help you remain calm, centered, and focused on the task at hand?

Consider looking at the example of others who perform at the highest levels and see what they do to be their best.

Friday Review: Learning

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Friday Review: Learning

How mindful are you of the things you are learning? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

 

 

 

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”

 

 

 

“Learning is a treasure whose keys are queries.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you need to learn quickly, learn from others

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“When you need to learn quickly, learn from others. When you need to learn deeply, learn from experience.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Shiromani Kant

In what areas of your life do you consider yourself highly competent or even masterful?

What were your developmental journeys like and how long did they take?

Who were your teachers, mentors, and coaches, and how much practice did you put in to reach your current level of proficiency?

A while ago, I took my car to the shop for its annual inspection. After several hours and several hundred dollars, I was out the door with a new window sticker of approval. A few weeks later when I was out of town, the yellow manufacturer maintenance light popped on.

Knowing I was good to go, I looked up a You Tube video and three minutes later that pesky light was gone.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that help your learn things quickly?

Where do you need to put certain lessons into practice over time to develop the deeper mastery you desire?

Your secret weapon is the patient execution of what everyone knows they should be doing.

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“Your secret weapon is the patient execution of what everyone knows they should be doing.”

—Rich Litvin, co-author of The Prosperous Coach

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

Secret weapons are the stuff of superheroes and blockbuster movies.

Whether you are a Marvel or DC fan, watching the good guys fight the bad guys on screen or even in a comic book always grabs our attention. Yet — as far as I know — there are no superheroes with patient execution as their secret weapon.

A two-hour film is not the venue to reveal how their secret to success is longer time intervals. We want things big and bold, or we simply go home.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life could patient execution be the secret weapon you need to achieve your most important goals?

What simple actions will you take today to build the momentum to be your own superhero?