Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Happiness is like jam

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“Happiness is like jam. You can’t spread even a little without getting some on yourself.”

—Anonymous

Ella and Weston, Barry’s grandchildren

For the past few years my wife Wendy, our daughter Rachel, and I engage in a multi-day peach preserve project. With 75 pounds of Georgia’s best, we blanche, peel, chop, can, and seal over five dozen jars of this sweet precious goo.

Doing our best to avoid cuts, burns, and keeping our relationship intact, we always feel very satisfied when the job is done. Given Wendy’s generous nature, about four dozen go out as gifts to sweeten the lives of others throughout the year.

EXERCISE:

What are some ways that you plan to spread a little happiness around this holiday season and into the year ahead?

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

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“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

—John O’Donohue, late Irish poet, author, philosopher

I recently attended a webinar on leadership resilience led by Mike Rochelle, a former three star general. He shared a story about the “Type A Personality Modification” class that was part of his military leadership development.

As a person who lived by his wristwatch, Mike was always in a rush to maximize his efficiency and effectiveness. His instructor gave him the assignment to go without his watch for a full week to see what happened.

During that week Mike discovered a whole new world of sights, sounds, and feelings previously hidden by his laser focused approached of getting from point A to point B. He began living life like a river and became much more present to its unfolding, and of course, the many people guided by his leadership.

EXERCISE:

Check out the 15-minute 2018 adventure documentary, Traveling on Trash by Dan Cullum and his friends, who traveled the 2,000 miles of the Mississippi River in 56 days. I hope that you, too, get caught up by the unfolding of its story.

How are you living a purposeful life? Playing a supporting role to serve and love others is more than enough.

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How are you living a purposeful life? Playing a supporting role to serve and love others is more than enough.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by wocintechchat.com

Without question, living a purposeful life is a high priority for most people.

We all want our lives to matter and contribute in some meaningful way. In our efforts to do so, we often look around at others for examples of making a dent in the universe. Popular media of all types offer examples that for many of us are out of reach—winning gold medals, a Nobel Prize, and solving the world’s most challenging problems are not the only way to leave a legacy.

Today’s quote has us appreciate the everyday acts of service and love we offer our families and communities as being more than enough.

EXERCISE:

Where and how are you playing an important supporting role in the lives of others?

How can you more fully acknowledge your daily acts of love and service as a source of great meaning and purpose?

Friday Review: Opinion

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Friday Review: Opinion

On what criteria do you base your opinions? How do you react to the opinions of others? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Your first impression remains—but you can revise your opinion. Look once again and give someone a second chance!”

 

 

 

 

“Seek council, not opinion.”

 

 

 

 

“The only way some of us exercise our minds is by jumping to conclusions.”

 

 

 

“In the game of life, there’s no high score list, but you never want to languish on level one.”

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“In the game of life, there’s no high score list, but you never want to languish on level one.”

—Jay Shetty, life coach and former Hindu monk

Image from Unsplash by Erik Mclean

I’ve never been a big fan of video games. Except for space invaders and PAC Man many years ago, I never seemed to get the rush of leveling up in the multitude of games and systems that came after.

I have, however, always been interested in the game of life and the pursuit of growth and achievement. Tackling some worthy objective that filled my desire to learn and feel purposeful always had me want to take the next steps in my capabilities and impact.

EXERCISE:

Where do you have a keen desire to level up and build on your current abilities?

How can you measure your progress in these areas with your own inner scoreboard?

“Mystery reveals itself to those who maintain an openness of character.”

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“Mystery reveals itself to those who maintain an openness of character.”

—Robert Grundin, Swedish Actor

Image from Unsplash by Diane Helentjaris

Most of us love a good mystery. We love good books, TV shows, or movies that take us on a ride with plot twists and surprises. We enjoy excitement and delight when we sleuth our way through these adventures. We are primed for openness to go down whatever path lies ahead.

When we close our books, turn off our sets, and clean up our popcorn and candy containers, how open do we remain when we return to our actual lives?

EXERCISE:

How can you expand your openness of character to more fully experience the many mysteries life has to offer?

“Sometimes the most meaningful service is simple, spontaneous, and closer to home.”

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“Sometimes the most meaningful service is simple, spontaneous, and closer to home.”

—Jay Shetty, life coach and former Hindu monk

Image from Unsplash by Rémi Walle

The desire to make a difference seems to be a universal calling for most people. The intention to live a meaningful life is a key driver from the moment we wake until it is time to rest.

When we look around at how others live, we tend to focus on the big stuff that seem more like quests and crusades. Having a major impact seems to be what counts or at least get noticed.

It is nice to be reminded that the simple and quiet acts of service are often the most meaningful.

EXERCISE:

Where and how will you contribute to those close to you today?

How can you incorporate note taking into your daily habits?

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How can you incorporate note taking into your daily habits?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Cathryn Lavery

When I consider the topic of note taking my initial thoughts go back to my school days. Listening intently to my teachers in grade school and my professors in college was paramount to getting the “A’s” I was seeking. Capturing what was said and giving it back to them seemed to be the secret recipe for success.

Following my formal schooling the extent of my note taking focused on grocery shopping and the occasional list of questions for doctor visits. Like many others, I felt my note taking days were over. There didn’t seem to be much need to remember a bunch of stuff that wasn’t going to be on the test.

These days, getting ahead and staying ahead is as important as ever. Capturing new ideas and valuable insights and keeping them to use now or in the future is essential to progress in our increasingly complex and fast-moving lives.

EXERCISE:

Purchase a small notebook or use a note-taking app on your phone to capture more of the nuggets of wisdom that cross your path each day. My friend Sam Horn uses a catchy quote “Ink it when You think It” that can help you remember to apply this important skill.

Please let me know how this practice helps you ace your actual life.

Veterans Day 2022

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Veterans Day 2022

Image from Unsplash by Sir Manuel

Who among you—or who do you know—who has served in the military? Today is Veteran’s day, a U.S. federal holiday honoring the veterans with us right now. Most of us have celebrated it our entire lives, but it was not originally so.

This holiday started as a day to reflect upon the heroism of those who died in our country’s service in World War I, and was originally called Armistice Day—in honor of the official signing of the Armistice that ended “The War to End all Wars,” at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. In 1954, it was changed to Veterans Day to account for all veterans, in all wars.

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs has declared “honor” as the theme for the celebrations this year. Honor reflects the military value and tradition of answering the call to duty.

My family and I honor all those across this great land who have served our country, and ask that you will, as well.

EXERCISE:

Who can you reach out today to a friend, neighbor, or family member who has served? Let them know that today you are grateful for them and their service to the country.

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly

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“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly.”

—Marcus Aurelius, ancient Roman emperor & Stoic philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Usman Yousaf

What does it mean to live a “proper” life?

At the end of your life what would you like people to say about you?

How would you have answered these questions 10 or 20 years ago?

As we age, many of us notice changes occurring in our minds and bodies.

Usually, this a gradual process and most of us come to terms with the finite nature of our lives.

We usually strive to do better and make the most of it.

What if instead of a more gradual process your life was coming to an abrupt end? How satisfied and complete would you feel and what regrets would you experience?

EXERCISE:

The movies Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Groundhog Day with Bill Murray offer many laughs and some good examples to consider.