Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“If you don’t understand what makes people tick, they won’t tick.”

Posted on by

“If you don’t understand what makes people tick, they won’t tick.”

—Robert Swan — British explorer & the first person to walk to both Poles

Image from Unsplash by Anne Nygård

Ever since I can remember I’ve been fascinated by how things work. I distinctly recall, as a child, taking apart a Baby Ben alarm clock to see what was inside that made it tick.

These days, I’m far more interested in what makes the people around me tick, to better discover how to improve my relationships, understand their motivations, and to help bring out their best through my coaching efforts.

Although there are multitudes of tools and assessments to help in this process, I’ve found the simple but often not easy work of collaborative conversations — where seeking to understand and be sincerely interested — works best.

EXERCISE:

How masterful are you in the art of dialogue and conversation?  Where and with whom would greater skill and practice help you understand what make these people tick even better?

Make a plan to create and savor more downtime. Discover and experience where less is often more.

Posted on by

Make a plan to create and savor more downtime. Discover and experience where less is often more.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

What will you contemplate or savor during your next downtime?

Learn to press the pause buttons of life, to cherish and savor these quiet moments — reflect and contemplate your life.

Examine the richness and abundance all around you, and develop an attitude of profound gratitude for the wondrous miracles that surround us.

When we unplug and pause, new things begin.

EXERCISE:

What will you do to carve out more downtime in the days ahead?

How can you more fully experience pauses in your days to savor the richness and beauty of these special moments?

 

Friday Review: Intention

Posted on by

FRIDAY REVIEW: INTENTION

What intentions have you set for your day, your week, or your life? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Sit. Or stand. But never wobble.”

 

 

“Intent reveals desire. Action reveals commitment.”

 

 

 

“Setting your intentions is like drawing an arrow from the quiver of your heart.”

 

 

 

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

Posted on by

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

—Julia Child, 20th Century American cooking teacher, author, and TV personality

Image from Unsplash by Caitlyn de Wild

How many meetings do you attend each day? How many of them are in person or over some form of technology?

How would you rate your experience of these events in terms of both productivity and enjoyment?

If you are like many of us the title of Patrick Lencioni’s classic book, Death by Meeting may sum up a good majority of your feelings.

Today more than ever companies are looking to attract, retain, and excite their team members, and the old ways of doing things by just offering competitive compensation and reasonable benefits won’t cut it in the long run.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you pursue a work environment with more of a celebratory and engaging culture?

Please don’t forget the cake!

“Behind every criticism is a veiled wish.”

Posted on by

“Behind every criticism is a veiled wish.”

—Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist

Image from Unsplash by ahi ismail

How do you feel when you are criticized?

How often is your immediate response to defend yourself or perhaps go on the offense and attack others?

Explore a few recent interactions in which you were criticized for something you did or didn’t do.

Dig deeper into the thoughts and emotions of that person to see if there was a hidden desire or veiled wish below their barbed message. What did they secretly want that was not communicated in an acceptable way?

How might you shift your perspective and translate the harshness of their words into simple requests that would have a higher probability of acceptance?

EXERCISE:

A few books that can help your relationship skills are Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations.

Please send an email to barry@dempcoaching.com or reply to this post with your email address and I will be pleased to send you a copy of my one page Communication Toolbox.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.  Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

Posted on by

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.”

—August Wilson, 20th Century American Playwright

Image from Unsplash by Benjamin Davies

Consider the following statement on a one-to-five scale in which one is absolutely not and five is definitely yes.

I have a clear view of where I am and where I am going in my life.

This statement is part of my discovery process to help determine a potential client’s readiness to move their lives forward with a supportive coaching relationship.

For optimal success, these relationships benefit significantly through the deep and thoughtful process of examining and wrestling with their limiting beliefs and habits. Through careful illumination and generous self-forgiveness, each individual will most likely realize far more of their fullest personal and professional potential.

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to more fully examine your own demons to help your angels sing? Consider picking up a copy of the book Taming your Gremlins by Rick Carson as a way to open this door of deeper discovery.

To explore your own readiness for coaching, please consider filling out my free Coaching Readiness Assessment.

Friday Review: Honesty

Posted on by

FRIDAY REVIEW: HONESTY

Where and when is honesty most important to you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“I keep six honest serving men: (They taught me all I knew) Their names were Where and What and When and Why and How and Who.”

 

 

 

“Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.”

 

 

 

“Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.”

 

 

 

 

“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”

Posted on by

“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”

—Glennon Doyle — American author and activist

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

How long can you hold your breath? Give it a try to see when you simply must exhale and take another. We can live numerous days without food and even water, but without our breath it’s lights out in minutes.

For me, the act of breathing has taken on greater significance over the past few years. I’ve developed the habit of daily meditation, in which the breath is my home base for greater mindfulness and self-awareness.

As a coach and person who has always valued personal development, reading the work of others has always been a priority and something I enjoy.

Writing, on the other hand, was a more recent addition around 10 years ago when I hired my own writing coach and began the Quotable Coach blog. Now with about 2500 posts under my belt, I’ve found my inhale of reading and exhale of writing have created a cycle of giving and receiving which feels essential to my life.

EXERCISE:

Where and how would taking some deep breaths in (reading) and full breaths out  (writing) energize you and add more vitality and aliveness to your days?

“The best ideas rarely arise in one isolated mind, but rather develop in networks of curious and creative thinkers.”

Posted on by

“The best ideas rarely arise in one isolated mind, but rather develop in networks of curious and creative thinkers.”

—Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist

Image from Unsplash by rupixen.com

Over the past month or so, I’ve noticed the numerous announcements of this year’s crop of Nobel Prize winners. When you examine these exceptional individuals for their big ideas and contributions it is apparent that their work stood on the shoulders of many other curious and creative thinkers, who preceded or currently partner with them.

It’s clear that being a “Lone Ranger” never consistently produces the best ideas, and even if it did, life would be pretty lonely.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently working alone and experiencing limited success and considerable frustration?  Who are some of the curious and creative thinkers in your communities that can help you come up with more prize-winning ideas?

“Wisdom is a living stream, not an icon preserved in a museum

Posted on by

“Wisdom is a living stream, not an icon preserved in a museum. Only when we find the spring of wisdom in our own life can it flow to future generations.”

—Thich Nhat Hahn, Vietnamese Thiền Buddhist monk and peace activist

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

For most of my life I’ve been a seeker of wisdom from many sources.

It is one of my daily practices that delights and fills my soul, especially when I can be a conduit for others that also wish to jump into this living stream.

For the past decade, I’ve included thought-provoking and motivational quotes as a significant component of my personal excellence journey.

These nuggets of wisdom really satisfy my appetite and passion for personal growth and development.

EXERCISE:

Where do you look to discover your own sources of wisdom? How are you paying forward some of your lessons learned to future generations?

Please consider sharing The Quotable Coach with others who may benefit.

My book, The Quotable Coach—Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom, might also make an appropriate gift for yourself or others this holiday season.